Hallo! How are you today? Good huh? I sure hope so because I feel great. Wanna know why? I see you’re nodding your head you this….you this….APROKO!.....Lolz. Okay let me tell you. I feel great because one slim, hot chick who sells recharge cards in my neighbourhood and who I have been secretly lusting after for sometime now flirted with me today. Sweet huh? But that’s not all you know? What is great about it is that she intends to ‘Recharge’ my ‘Personal Mobile Account’ tonight. Yep! This very night! Now just tell me…..AIN’T THAT GREAT!!! Er….If you don’t get what I just said, all I can offer are my sincere apologies. In fact, I no think say you get any business here sef. Go play for outside joor! Lolz…Just kidding! Before you go dey form vex. Abi you dey vex ni? Sorwi jawe!
Anyway, see what happened o! Hmmn….I got back home from school jejely today and discovered I had exhausted the airtime I had on my phone. I then proceeded to my customer’s place to get some and lo’ and behold, I met only my customer’s younger sister at the shop. Now, my customer, a chick as well had never caught my fancy but her younger cute, sweet, sexy looking, highly fuckable looking sister had. The only problem was that my customer was always in the shop and the sister never got the opportunity to attend to me and enable me drop the ‘Babe, how far naaa?’ talk.
So, I’m sure you can imagine my excitement upon meeting hot sexy thang in the shop…looking hot…..smoking hot….and ALL ALONE….in the shop where I was soooo tempted to commit a naughty sin. However, this chick didn’t know my intentions, so I decided to play it cool………….
ME: (With a straight face) Er…Good evening!
HOT SEXY THANG (HST): Evening sir. Welcome! How work today? (Her face lights up with a smile recognising me as the regular customer who buys nothing less than N1,000 airtime)
ME: Work dey fine o my sister. (Couldn’t tell her I still go to school else she’ll think I’m a broke-ass nigga) I wan buy the usual. You know am naa?
HST: Ah yes sir! I kuku know am. Na you na! (Flashing a brighter smile that makes ‘Mr. Peniscillin’ tell me – “Bros, me don wake o!”)
ME: Nice one! Er..I’ll have the usual. Er…Sister nko? She no dey today ni?
HST: Ah no o! Sister don go market buy food wey she go cook this night. (Still wearing that appealing smile on her cute face, she hands me the card)
ME: Ehen! Okay o! No problem. (Now wearing a mischievous smile) Er…abeg you go fit help me scratch am? You know say na sister dey usually scratch am for me?
HST: Ah oga no problem! I fit help you recharge am for your phone sef.
ME: (Getting amused) Ehen! You wan help me recharge my account? You sure say you go fit so??? (Laughing now at my own mischief)
HST: (Surprised) Ah oga yes nau! Why I nor go fit? I sabi recharge any phone account o! Wey your phone?
ME: (Laughing harder) Eheeen! You go fit recharge any phone account? You go sabi well-well be dat o! (Laughing even harder)
HST: (Confused as fuck now) Of course I sabi nau! (Pauses for a second to study me and then gets it) Haahaahaa! I don code now. Ah! Oga! You no serious o! Oga you too spoil.
ME: (Laughing lightly now) No mind me jare. You no lie, I spoil tru-tru (I wink and give her my phone)
HST: (Loading airtime on my phone) Ah! Oga na wa for you o! (Returns phone) You bin get me sha. You try! (Laughs)
ME: (Collects phone with a chuckle) Yeah. No worry, e dey happen. Thanks sha. You do well. Abeg greet sister for me o!
HST: Yes o! And sister go hear. Thank you too.
(As I turn to leave, HST utters something that stops me in my tracks)
HST: Er…Oga, (A flirty look on her face) Incase you still want make I recharge your account…no shaking o! (Winks)
ME: (Amused) Eheen! You mean am? You go fit help me recharge my account?
HST: Yes!
ME: Na my mobile account o! no be phone own I dey talk o?
HST: Oga, I go fit recharge your personal mobile account. (Chuckles)
ME: (Grinning now) Oya naa! Let’s go there! How far with tonight naa? You go free?
HST: 8 o’ clock. No dulling! (Smiling sheepishly)
ME: Correct! No dulling!
So my friend, na so the mata bin go o! Shit! Sorry mayne! I forgot I was no longer speaking with the chick but with you…you who speaks Queen’s English and not Pidgin English *Wink*. Anyway, I have already bought a small bottle of Mc Dowells and made my bed properly. I have to be well prepared for what’s coming tonight, right? Lolz….
Oh yeah! Sorry again. I know I’m supposed to be continuing my story and telling you how Valentine’s day went in school the next day but I guess I got too excited over my luck. I see that letting you know I’M GONNA GET SOME ASS TONIGHT has taken so much blog space which would have been used in gisting you about the love song I sang for ‘Miss Unknown’. A shame it is…..Big shame on me…*Tongue out*
Now ehn! You watch Nollywood movies right? Don’t shake your head o! I know you do. Okay, you’ve seen at least one right? Ehen nau! No forming for me o! Okay, as I was saying, you know how annoying commercials usually come up before the main movie itself? Consider this post as a commercial before the main story…….Haahaahaaaa!!!! Got ya! See you soon! Byeeee!
No comments:
Post a Comment