Thursday, March 7, 2013

Cocks Of Many Colours

I chatted up a reformed prostitute recently. She had been deported from Italy where she served men & worshipped foreign cocks for many years. She laid the whole blame on her late mum whom she said forced her into the family business against her will due to poverty and she persuaded me to tell her story after sucking on my soft, perverted nuts. You're wondering how come? She's changed no doubt. Only sucks, no longer fucks. Hehehehe.....

Enjoy..........

Back through the years

When i went hustling in the rain

Auctioning my sweet pussy

Selling off my youth

I recall once a bunch of gangbangers that visited us

And how momma wanted to put their cocks to good use

They were men of many colours

Each thug's dick was far from small

They refused to use raincoat

Insisting on ejecting their seeds down my hall

Momma put their cocks together

Made me suck each one with lust

She made me fuck cocks of many colours

That I never ever would be proud of

Each cock I fucked only fed me with agony

Each cock was terrifying in sight

I told momma my cock-scaring story

My arm, momma did bite

"Be thankful you're not dead"

Showing off sperm-stained teeth as she said

"These same men once took a pornstar to bed

Humped her silly till her vagina flooded red

These cocks will bring us good money and happiness

And I don't fucking care if it's of your own distress

You just be glad you have these cocks of many colours"

And with that, momma blessed my forehead with a kiss

Now, these cocks of many colours

That my momma gave to me

I don't see how the bitch; the stupid old hag

Could expect me to take them all inside my P

Although we had little money

My faith was as strong as should be

If I kept fucking these cocks of many colours

What then would be left of me??

So with bruises on my pussy

Stitches on my frail lips

I fled from momma and her cocks of many colours

And hurried off to a school

Where I only sucked educated cocks

And now I can speak Oyinbo too

Though i'm still broke as fuck

I'll never be penniless for my lips can still suck

I'm just glad I got away from those cocks of many colours

That could have been the END OF ME

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Yours truly,

Debola That Bloody Pervert

(Bless you @TweetOracle....Bless you!)

Perv Poetry - Perv Insecurity

Each night when I lay my head down to sleep

I pray to Tlazolteotl, ma girl's cunt to keep

For I ain't trusting no bitch whose brain be weak

And spreading 'em legs for niggaz whose ways be slick

Now I ain't trying to say ma gurl's booty be cheap

But with her mumu button, any fool be having her backyard for a night to sweep

Especially if you tell her you love to lick

And show her a cock black enough and thick

It's these thoughts that make me think

It's this distance that makes me sick

I'ma head on to her crib tomorrow; make it quick

I find her with a nigga???....RYU'S 'DOWN-BACK' KICK !!!

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Perv Poetry - Perv Play

Night after night

Day after day

Our parts meet and mingle

Acting out some Perv play

You love it when I poke you with power

You scream when I make that pouch strain

I go on hour after hour

Striking thunder till your cunt rains

Sniffing on your sweet flower

Licking on your fresh pink

Your secretion is far from sour

At least that's what my taste-buds think

I make you ride me bad

I make you love me more

Giving you orgasms never had

Pound you till your pussy lips are sore

Meet me baby, tonight

Meet me at our favourite spot

I promise like always to make you feel alright

With every inch of pervy dick that i've got

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Stubborn Pussy

Me: Baby, why dis your toto nor wan gree wet again nau?? *parts pussy lips open with two fingers and spits inside*

Baby: Sweetheart, I nor know o! Dis my toto don tire me sef. Small time, e go gree soak...Other time, e go just dry like Sahara desert. You kuku remember say, I bin wet well last week nau!

Me: Ehn, but dat one na last week nau! Shey na only once a week we go dey fuck ni??? Dis your toto na real Made in China. E too dey malfunction...*parts pussy lips again, flinging thick kelebe inside this time around*

Baby: Honey, nor provoke nau! Me sef wan fuck nau! See me dey try make myself wet sef...*spits on palm and rubs on clitoris*... I nor just fit let you dip dat your big prick inside like dat. I nor want make you tear me for inside abeg.

Me: You nor wan make I tear you...You nor wan make I bruise you abi? Look! You beta wet nau-nau o! You see say Mr. P don already stand. Im must fuck whether you like am or not.

Baby: *pours more spit into vagina*... Baby nor worry ehn? You go fuck. I go soon wet.

Me: Abi make we go put your yansh under running tap??? Me, I wan make you wet o!

Baby: Boo, nor worry nau! Sebi na me? I go soon wet.

Me: *Splashes a handful of spit on vagina*... Pussy, I command you now! Be wet!...Be WET!...BE WET I COMMAND YOU!!!

(Vagina suddenly becomes wet; soaked and then begins to erupt water like a volcano)

Baby: Oh honey you are annointed! See how my toto don overwet now. WOW!

Me: Ehn, I don hear. Oya lie down make I climb you like Kilmanjaro.

Baby: Okay but wey your Gold Circle? Make you wear am first abeg. Me neva ready to born Junior.

Me: Ehn, I dey come. *searches wallet...searches left pocket...right pocket..back pockets... NO CONDOM! Ah! baby, e be like say condom don finish o! No worry, I nor go come inside ehn?

Baby: EHN!!! You say??? Abeg-abeg! I nor want nonsense. Run go buy from dem Iya Malik shop.

Me: But baby, Mr. P go don sleep by the time wey I go come back nau! Make I just do small.

Baby: Small ko..Plenty ni! Abeg go run buy condom jare! No worry, if Mr. P sleep, we go wait till im wake up back.

Me: Wey dis your yeye toto for don dry up again abi?? You nor try o! Abeg nau! Make we do small. I go buy packet next time.

Baby: Ah! No joor! I nor gree. Go buy condom. You nor fit fuck me without condom abeg. Me I nor want wahala.

Me: CHAI!! See me see wahala now. After I don suffer to make her stronghead toto wet, she nor wan gree me fuck. Wetin I wan do now?? Mr. P don charge already. *frowns*

Baby: Honey, why you kon dey frown nau? I say make you run go buy Gold Circle, make I fuck you beta. You kon siddon here dey frown. My toto go dry back o! Abi you nor wan fuck again???

Me: *remembers BoyzIIMen and breaks into a song*......

Me don't wanna fuck anymore!

Me don't even know what we're arguing about

I feel like you don't love me no more

To say without no rubber, ma prick won't go inside

Some couples work things out... But it's like you are unwilling to CHAAANNGGEEE!

So let's wait till your water runs dry

We might watch my own sperm pass us by

Let's just wait till your water runs DRY

You'd make the greatest mistake of your life

DON'T DO IT BABY!

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

(Bless you @TweetOracle)

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Perv Poetry - Dear Prostitute

Dear Prostitute,

All my cash is thine

Yours I am

Yours my cock will be

Do with me whatever you will

And please be gentle with your 'Tip Drill'

For till I return to the Mrs, your pleasure I'll steal

Yours truly,

Debola That Bloody Pervert

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Perv Poetry - Let The Game Begin!

Touching maself...round the clock

Touching maself...yearning for a fuck

Hoping and wishing your entrance is near

To exit some thick cum upon wear and tear

I hope you'd respond and take this dare

Charge at me with a soaked orifice...show no fear

A hard cock and wet pussy....one must conquer

Claim the coveted title of #TeamPerv's 'Best Fucker'

I'm in and game....in it to win

Turn into a sport, one shade of sin

Come now with that pussy...i'm ready to strike

Fucking, Trashy perverted talk....the things I like.

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Perv Poetry - Pleasure Harvest

The pleasure in your garden where strokes turn into thrusts

I harvest deep and reap fully beneath your frock

The strength of my cock

The ploughing on your crop

You spasm while I fuck

Urging you to flush some juice down my stuff

For you are indeed my best slut

Sheer pleasure between two thighs

Guilty truth yet blissful lies

Farming on you seems so right

All 'Yesses'....No 'Whys?'

Such is my bountiful harvest of your seeds

Sowing and reaping timely, before your pouch bleeds

Uncle, See My Pant

"Uncle!...UNCLE!!!! Come and see!" she yelled as she ran towards me while I dragged my weary feet along her narrow, old and dusty path. I had trekked a long distance from my cousin's bus stop and already felt exasperated. I knew the first thing I had to do and WOULD DO upon reaching his crib was to take a very cold shower. I paused briefly to catch my breath as she halted a few metres away.

"Come o! Do you even know me???" The little girl couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years of age, yet she was speaking comfortably to a complete stranger. 'Whether I be kidnapper now, she nor even know'.

"Uncle, see...SEE!" she went again raising her skirt this time and revealing her young private area fully covered with a blue piece of thick cotton. "See...mummy have buy me new pant!" She gave a grin as she patted herself on her 'V Section' through its covering with little fingers and I couldn't help but respond with a smile at her immature excitement.

I looked around searching for her guardian but saw no one near the hut that she must have appeared from. I assumed her family members were all inside and she decided to stray for some attention and consequent appreciation of her new vagina-covering. With nobody in sight, the perv in me awoke and came up with a naughty idea.

"Come...lemme see darling!" and she sprinted towards me gleefully. I picked her up when she got close enough and threw her high into the air. "WHEEEE!!!" she went and laughed when she was back in my arms. I decided one throw was enough for I didn't want to attract anyone's unsolicited attention with further screams of excitement.

Next, I sat her down on my right lap, while I rested my own tired buttocks on a log of wood which I found nearby and lifted her skirt once more. Her underwear's navy blue caught a ray of sun and shone brightly. I became animated and decided to explore that glitter for a 'pot of gold'.

Gently pulling her panty liner aside, a piece of fresh black flesh greeted me. The top of her virgin clit shone like polished ebony as I brushed my thumb on it and my eyeballs expanded. Still both within the hot grasp of the sun, I was eager to discover more astonishment and dipping my left index finger inside my mouth, I got just about enough saliva on it to fill up a nostril. I let the drool glide gently on her young pussy and guided the better part of it towards her clitoris. Mayne, you should have seen how that interesting piece of flesh shone like new genuine leather between my fingers. It was such a beautiful sight catching the glitter of her lubricated cunt in my eyes.

The little girl eased herself and relaxed fully in my arms as I made to satisy my curiosity and pleasure myself. I began rubbing her artificially wet clit and I enjoyed watching it throb hard with little vibrations. I felt like each thumb-stroke on her clit produced a different shade of glitter. I was having some pervy fun watching her frequently dim her eyes, which told me she was most likely enjoying the show as well. I got her clit wet again; tilting my head to spit directly on it this time and rubbed some more. In no time, I felt like I was strumming away on a guitar; pulling and sliding my finger continually down her interesting string-like clit.

As I continued to stroke the sprouting piece of flesh on her punani, I kept getting tempted to poke and pierce her with my pinkie. But that would have meant fingering her properly and deflowering the young, naive one at such a tender age. "No mayne!" I told myself. I couldn't bring myself to do such. Teasing her tiny clit with my thumb would be enough for my curiosity. I was down with the pleasure but wanted no unfortunate casualty.

"ENIOLA!....ENIOLA!!!" I heard a voice shout from inside the building. "ENIOLA NI BO LO WA???"

"Is your name Eniola my dear?" I paused to ask her. She gave a solemn nod to tell me 'Yes'. Her eyes had become lazy from the constant dimming and slow blinking and the look on her face was priceless. Three more clit-strokes and she might have actually drifted into a slumber.

"Ehen?...Er okay, I think i've got to be on my way now dear" I said putting her down and quickly adjusting her skirt. I had only risen to my feet when a middle-aged looking woman stormed outside the hut.

"Hey!...You!...HEYY!!! What are you doing with my daughter??"

No time for stories. I quickly dropped the little girl on the dusty earth and bolted; sprinting as fast as my legs could carry me.

"OLE!...OLE!...THIEF!...GBOMO-GBOMO!!!" I heard faintly as I gained some distance away from the crime scene. God nor go let small pikin toto koba me.

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

May I See Beneath Your Red Tonight???


Photo Credit: @hentai9ja (hentai9ja.tumblr.com)


Hey babe! How are you feeling? Good huh? Yeah, that’s very nice. Do you need me to top up your glass with some more wine? Oh okay, you’re fine with this? Fine then! No problem. Just do feel free and lemme know if you need some more alright? Cool! I sure do hope you’re comfy on the bed anyway. I need you to relax and get very comfortable on it ‘cos that’s where we’ll be spending the better part of tonight, okay?…..*perv wink*

Once again, Happy Valentine’s Day babe! I don’t know about you but I feel so damn excited and fired-up about tonight. Maybe it’s because of the sheer fact that I finally got you here; in my crib and on my king-sized bed. Yeah! I guess it’s that. I mean, to actually think that I have you in my room tonight and on my bed??? *shakes head fast*….Mayne that’s really something. You know we’ll be doing a lot of kinky, crazy stuff on this bed tonight right? Lolz……Hmmn…..this way you’re nodding your head, you berra don’t pass out on me o! I need you to be alive babe. I need you tonight gurl. I need your luscious body tonight and I definitely need your sweet loving tonight.

You see babe, you and I have come a long way, you know? Oh yes! We certainly have and now; this very moment presents itself as the perfect time to reap the fruits of our labour. Well, my labour actually since I’ve been the patient yet keen one. I know you could go on forever pretending you’re not curious about my body and that lil’ fella down there. I know you’re very good at faking lust but me? Mayne, I ain’t gon’ lie. I’ve been curious about your hot, sexy body since day one….lolz. True confession baby!

You and I know that since we began seeing each other a month ago, I have been a complete gentleman. You know that despite your very appealing looks and highly tempting body, I have been respectful and refrained from ravishing you and eating away at your irresistible bodily possessions. I believe I have definitely earned the right to fill this room of mine with the aura of lust and romance tonight and finally get to satisfy my curiosity about your sexiness.

You equally have been the perfect lady all the while and I totally respect you for that. You have shown you are quite the principled type and one with high standards. I only wish you were a slut sometimes but then, that would mean every other guy would have a chance at winning you over and bedding you, which won’t be good for me of course since I certainly can’t compete with most of your admirers in terms of material possessions. I however, can and will surpass them with sexual prowess. That much, I CAN GUARANTEE!.....*perv wink*.

So baby, tell me something…..now that I have been a good boy all the while and given you a special treat this evening, will you be so kind enough to return the favour with a special treat of yours??? I got you that very expensive perfume you had always talked about and it sure does smell lovely on you. I guess it’s got some of that pheromone stuff in it because it sure as fuck has been keeping me aroused all evening. You recall how I insisted on crossing my legs while dining with you at Food and Wine? Yeah! It really was because you gave me a hard-on and I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell you about it.

But apart from the potency of your scented bottle, your new red dress has equally been captivating and has definitely been a huge turn-on. I know you normally don’t like your dresses this short but in truth, I knew I just had to get this one for you when I laid my eyes on it. Can’t you see how sexy you look in it??? Just take a good look at how it accentuates your lovely curves. I recall, observing at least three men staring at you with desire as we relished our tasty dishes of fried rice, moin-moin and grilled fish. It was such a funny sight considering the fact that they had company, yet couldn’t take their eyes off you. Well, I must confess that glancing at your thighs as we ate didn’t help my condition too. My soldier had your full attention and it wasn’t easy getting up after eating, trust me but somehow, I guess I managed it.

Anyway, I finally convinced you to sleep over at my place despite your usual hard-headedness and principled-nature. I’m guessing the little Smirnoff Ice you had did the trick in lowering your standards a bit and I’m truly grateful for it. Tonight, I’m gonna do all sorts of sweet, sexy, sensual things to your body and you’re gonna thank me in the morning. I promise you that!

You just hold on to that glass of wine you have there while I give you a little insight into what I’ve got in store for you baby. Now….yes! I’ma begin with your lips. Oh yeah! Those lips I’ve only so far, enjoyed all the while that we’ve been dating. Well, tonight ain’t gonna be the regular lip-locking I can assure you. Tonight, I intend to engage you in a tongue-fight and explore every corner of your mouth. I intend to exchange sweet, warm saliva with you and feel the sensuality of your lips in a totally different way. You’re gonna enjoy it trust me!

Oh then your bosom! Hmmn….whilst I run my fingers through your hair, I’m gonna play with your flesh and tease your nipples. I’m gonna get those brown nodes of yours wood-hard and suck on them till you squeal out in pleasure. I intend to caress your swollen pieces of desirable flesh too and squeeze them till you quiver and I’m going to make sure your breasts never forget the feel of my mouth, EVER!

Then between your thighs ehn!…..Oh lawd! What I intend to do down there??? CHAI! Well, that’s for my tongue and fingers to decide anyway. I intend to let them lead me in the sexual spirit as I discover ways to make you moan while fingering and licking you at the same fucking time. I intend to allow my fingers communicate with your pussy until they respond with inviting wetness and work my tongue on your clit till I taste your fluid. I bet your pussy juice will taste just awesome and I won’t mind guzzling some sexy squirt down my throat. You think I can’t make you squirt huh? Just wait and see! I’ll lick, suck and finger you so bad that you won’t be able to help but beg me to bury my cock in you and make you cum some more. That’s just when I’ll finally introduce Mr. P to you and let him make the MAGIC COME ALIVE! Hehehehe……………

But em, baby…you know? All these things I’m saying won’t make much sense if I don’t get your permission to please you tonight. I’m sure you’ll agree that I’ve earned the privilege to worship your body tonight and I do pray you won’t deny me this chance. So what do you say hun? Would you let me see beneath your gorgeous red and seek the lust inside?? What do you say as I ask you this in my version of the polite manner in which Labrinth asked Emeli Sande ?????.............................................


You’ve earned yourself a night of ecstasy
Does it make you feel good?.....Oh yeah!
Your red dress has got a Perv feeling in the mood
Does it make me feel good?...... Oh hell yeah!
You’ve built your wall so high, it’s not been easy to climb it…….(oh no!)
But tonight feels just right, surrender gurl, don’t you fight it…..(Please don’t!)
And I just gotta ask…..Would you let me………see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me…..see beneath this red dress?
Take if off now gurl!....Take it off now gurl!
I wanna see inside!
So would you let me……See beneath your beautiful tonight???




Photo Credit: @hentai9ja (hentai9ja.tumblr.com)

Happy Valentine’s Day baby!

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert (TBP)



(Much gratitude as usual to @TweetOracle and @Hentai9ja)







Thursday, February 7, 2013

HyperSEX Tinz

(Warning: This #TBPBlogPost will NEVER make sense to you if you’re not familiar with 2face Idibia’s ‘Ihe Neme’)


Now this story right here is the simple reason why females should never EVER doubt me……or my pracking prowess. When a bloody perv like me says he can fuck, best believe he surely can fuck. I don’t get why bitches be making mouth these days, accusing me of being an empty barrel. They say I make a lot of noise, both on twitter and on here and that I claim to be a badass fucker when in reality, I’m not. I keep shaking my head at such comments and say to myself “I only wish these gehs would even bother to come try me out and then conclude for themselves if I’m a true perv or not). Anyway, one geh has surely learnt her lesson now. She doubted, came, saw and COnCKered and I’m sure she’ll never have cause to doubt my pussy-pleasing ability again. She’s an LCU geh studying Bus.Admin and I’m sure she’s, by now, nursing her unfortunate pussy, which I succeeded in relegating to La PrickHer Division 3…..lolz

You see, this LCU geh read a couple of my blogposts and recognised me in school one day. I was eating at Designers Cafeteria with a fellow #TeamPerv mate when she walked up to me.

“Hello….sorry but you’re @Peniscillin on twitter right?”

“Er…yeah. Do I follow you?”

“Yes actually. I’m following you as well but mayne, you sure do say a lot of crap on twitter o! Even your blog sef! I’ve read some of your posts and though they are quite funny, I can’t imagine why you think you’re such a fuckermania. You certainly don’t look it with this innocent face of yours and I just think you’re like them other LCU boys who make a lot of mouth but really can’t do shit with a VAGINA!”

MAYNE, WAS I SPEECHLESS OR WHAT??? Ma hommie who was sitting next to me went like “Ooooh mayne! Sting…sting…STING!” but I remained calm; smiled and caught my breath.

“Oh well, I guess you’d just have to find out for yourself, won’t you?? Which of the hostels is yours please?”

“Wisdom Hostel. Room 13. Tomorrow night, 8pm. My roomie should be out by then” and she winked.

“Deal! And whatever you do, please don’t you dare see your period…..PERIOD!” I got up, pushed my chair in and proceeded to take my leave whilst my hommie did the same. As we made our exit, we heard her say “I won’t! Not due for two weeks”.

On the way back to class, my hommie refused to let me rest. “Oh boy! E be like say your blog don dey popular small-small o! I mean, see how dis chick bin recognise you naa? She kon challenge you join? Mayne you gaz show am o! You gaz show am say you be TBP mayne. You go deal with am like you bin deal with dat Ayobami geh shey?? Mayne, you gaz represent for #TeamPerv o! No gorking o!!!”

“GUY! Chill nau! Just relax. Nor be me again???” and my buddy swallowed a chill-pill.

I knocked on the door to room 13 the following evening. It was 7:45pm and I got there early to let her know I meant business. Luckily for me, it was she who opened the door; not her room-mate and she smiled when she saw me. “It’s not yet 8 ‘o’ clock. Still, do come in!” she said and closed the door behind me. The room both looked and smelled nice. There were posters of female musicians all over the walls. Pictures of Nicki Minaj, Cassie, Tesh Carter, Omawunmi, Emma Nyra and others. I was convinced she took her music seriously. I smiled upon sighting her big, giant mattress and immediately pounced on it. She gave a chuckle at that. “You dis boy ehn? Very funny someborry!” and then she went “Oya o! Jumoke!...JUMMY!...Oya come and be going to your boo’s place o! I have a visitor abeg!” she yelled towards the bathroom and her roomie responded from inside “Oh really??? Is he cute? And I yaff hear o! I’m almost ready. Lemme just finish setting this push-up bra abeg. I want le’ boo to go gaga tonight o!”

“Okay o! Sha do quick o! And yes he’s cute o!” All three of us laughed at that humorous remark and soon Jummy was gone; leaving just this chick and I all alone in the room.

“Kindly put out the lights please!” I begged. “I wouldn’t want you to change your mind about testing me”

“Ahn-ahn! Why naa? You don’t want me to see your small kini shey? I go really fall your hand today!”

“Er….yes! We’d soon know if my kini is small but sha put off the lights please.” I requested again.

“Hmmn….okay o! We’ll see na!” she replied. She put out the lights and joined me on the bed. I snuggled up to her and tried to kiss her in the pitch-black darkness but she clasped my face with both palms and held it stiff “Hey…you’re not my boyfriend. I just need you to prove to me that you’re all you say you are on that perverted blog of yours, okay???”

“Yes ma’am. I understand. My bad!”

“It’s alright” she said and got completely undressed. Though it was very dark, I still felt she had quite a sexy body from my recollection of her frame in the cafeteria. Oh well! It was time to prove to her that I was a real perv….actually; That Bloody Pervert.

I got stark naked myself while I heard her finger-stimulate herself to get wet. I mean, she had to get wet somehow!!! Anyway, she allowed me get on top of her right after and I pushed my big piece of cock into her already wet pumpum. She must have been shocked just then for she instantly squealed “IIISSSHHHHH!.....CHOI!!! What is this???”

“INTRODUCING…..MR. P!!!” I hollered and gave a fast jab to fully slot my pride into her pussy. I had not even started pumping yet; just gentle thrusts when she started lamenting “AH!...YEHH!...MO GBE O! SHEY BOBOYI ONI PAMI BAYI???”


Photo Credit: @hentai9ja (hentai9ja.tumblr.com)


I giggled but that didn’t make me relent. I increased my stabbing and jabbing tempo and began thrusting hard…..deep into her pussy. You bet that made her shout and scream like a fool. She almost made me roar with laughter as I pumped and pummelled her vagina with the way she kept on yelling and yelping “YEHHHH!....AARRGGHHHH!!.....MO GBE OOOOOO!!!!”

Instead of laughing though, I smiled, kept shoving my cock into her sweet punana and broke out in a song………………………………………………

I’m gonna make you cum early o!
Ride you with my dick like steady o!
I’m gonna punish you and give you my every o!
Make you shout like say no tomorrow

Ah! Nor be small tin!
I intend you show you pepper with ma long tin
And I know you now know ma cock is for sure
No be other pricks wey be like eanie…maeniee…MO!

Take you to Kano and then Toronto
All the way, you go dey shout and sing o
You bin say my Mr. P na nutin but beans o
But wetin wan shele go change tinz o

Haba! Abi nor be prick you dey want?
Mr. P is always constant!
Oya change your style, I wanna see your BAKA!
……….GBIM!!!

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Ore mi! Please open up o! I forgot to take my lip gloss.” but my girl couldn’t respond well. By now, all she could muster was “MMMMPPHHHH….SHIT..SHIT SHIT…SHIT!!! I’M CUUUUUMMMMMMIIIINNGGGGG!!!”


Photo Credit: @hentai9ja (hentai9ja.tumblr.com)


Her roomie obviously heard her and was like “Ah! You dis geh…are you okay? What’s going on in there???”

But my victim then began to sing in response………………

Yeh! Ihe Neme!….IHE NEME!
Sumtin don dey happen o!
It is sumtin I can’t tell you o!
But his tin is very very heavy o!

Ihe Neme! EMELEWENYA!!
There’s something every girl ought to know
Because I swear, like W4, he’s got the CONTROL
FUCK!!! NO TIME FOR STORY O!....Dis guy na Jet Li o!


And truly, there was no time for any story because I kept riding her pussy like crazy and ended up keeping her roomie outside for good 30 minutes before she could come in to fetch her lip gloss.

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Much gratitude to @TweetOracle and @Hentai9ja

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert (TBP)






Monday, February 4, 2013

Going Higher with El-Bee’s Dancers

Now many of you probably didn’t know this but I’m actually friends with El-Bee tha Don. For real o! You don’t believe me shey??? Ehn, na you sabi naa!

Anyway, El-Bee na my guy sha. We became acquainted on Twitter when he begged me for a follow-back. I wanted to decline his request at first but I saw that he was already friends with my crush, Yeni Alade, so I obliged…..*perv grin*

Mayne, there’s something else you don’t know o! This El-Bee guy can ‘famz’ ehn! Chai! That nigga can like to famz for Africa. He’s been famzing with me ever since he followed me and read my popular #TBPBlogPosts and he’s been begging me to create a post about him; just like I did with M.Hi, Ice Pwince, WinKid and Yeni Alade. I initially told him to be patient but in truth, the time to write blog him has finally come…..*perv grin*

You see, El-Bee tha Don asked me to join him and his crew on the video-shoot of his ‘Higher’ song recently. When he told me the shooting would be taking place at the Sahara desert; miles away from the shores of my beloved corrupt yet comfortable country, I got jittery and said “Thanks, but I’ll pass on that mayne”. He managed to change my mind however when he informed me that I would be put in charge of welfare; most importantly the welfare of four beautiful female models that he would be using in the video. At the mention of that, my eyes enlarged, glittered and I yelled “OH HELL YEAH MAYNE!...I’M IN !!!”

Now, I must confess yo! Yours truly aka TBP is kinda afraid of heights. True mayne! But then, I must confess that our flight wasn’t too scary. I recall getting airsick only for about ten minutes and throwing up just twice. As soon as we landed on the Sahara though, everyone involved in the video-shoot took their places, became sharp and started working. Me??? Eh!….Me, I was just looking o! I was watching and enjoying my view of the sexy young ladies shaking their slim, hot bodies and dancing to the sweet tune under the instructions of El-Bee’s choreographer. It was such an enjoyable form of entertainment for me, just that El-Bee tha Don hardly let me be. He was always up in my business; sucking-up to me and asking unnecessary questions – “Boss, are you okay? May I get you another can of Legend Stout? Are you comfy enough on this chair? Do you need any other thing???” I was tired mayne! I felt like telling the nigga to go face his video-shoot and let me be but when I saw that his girls kept staring in my direction whilst they danced to his music and probably thought I was a very important personality with the way their boss was catering to me, I decided to play along. “Yes please! I’d like another can of stout.” I would say to him and off he’d go, dashing-off to fetch another can of the sweet black stuff while I resumed gazing at the girls as they shyly took their glances off me and went back to their booty-shaking activity.

The weather was freaking hot so I kept ‘downing’ my chilled stout; can after can till the expected happened. Now if you don’t drink stout, you certainly wouldn’t have an inkling as to what I’m talking about. AS IN, I got both very tipsy and horny and that’s exactly when an idea popped inside my head. Before I got up from my seat though, El-Bee came with his wahala again; this time though, taking his seat beside me.

“I trust that you’re okay boss. Or is there something else I can get you?” he asked.

“Nah mayne! I’m cool. How’s the shoot going?”

“Pretty well I guess. It’s been quite hectic though, which is why I’ve asked everyone to take a 30-minute break so we can all catch our breaths.”

“Hmmn…I see. So everyone including your girls is taking a break now?”

“Yeah. The choreographer should be asking them to take a short rest right about now.”

True to his words, I saw the choreographer gesture to the girls and they all walked off; away from my pleasurable view and into a wooden shed that had been constructed for them by some artisan like that among El-Bee’s production crew.

“I see…Er….could you excuse me a minute? I think I got a full bladder.”

“Oh by all means please! Go do what you gotta do” tha Don said to me benignly.

I got up and made straight for the shed; looking around as I did so to avert anyone seeing me.

The girls had been laughing and chattering in their enclosure but suddenly appeared startled to find me open the door and walk into their shed. Though I was a bit rude by not knocking, they jumped off their seats and greeted my presence with “Good afternoon sir!”

“Good afternoon ladies. Nice work out there. I’m sure you all would look great in El-Bee’s video when it’s finally out on TV but I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news. Not all of you will make it into it.”

Mayne! You should have seen the looks on these hoes’ faces. Conspicuous fear and agitation was written all over them and complaints of “Ah! Ah! Why sir? Ah please sir!” greeted my ears. I grinned inside. My plan was working perfectly.

“Well, El-Bee secretly put me in charge of your selection and I’m supposed to let him know my top TWO picks amongst you. My selection will be accepted by him and eventually get to feature in the video for which we all have come. Do please understand. The world is all about survival of the fittest, right?”

The girls got scared as fuck then. I could tell they were terribly anxious by the way they fidgeted with themselves and I was happy when one of them spoke again and said “Em..please sir, we are all friends and we truly need the money for school. Is there anything, ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to all get chosen???”

“Hmmn….well em…El-Bee is my boy you see! I’m sure I can be nice to you and appeal on your behalf to have you all feature in his video IF you gurls will be nice to me in return. But then the question is, can you all actually be nice to me???” A perverted smile played on my lips just then.

“Ah yes sir! Certainly sir! We are good girls sir and we’ll be nice to you sir.”

“Oh really?” I asked. I doubted that these chicks knew what I was hinting at. “You really will be nice to me? I’m not sure you know what I mean o!” I stressed.

“Oh we very well know sir. We’ve attended quite a good number of auditions sir.”

“Is that so? Okay then, I believe we have an understanding. Shall we???” and I bolted the door.

At that, these sexy, cute honeyz began taking off their costumes but I quickly stopped them.

“Gurls, wait! We don’t have much time on our hands. We’ll be resuming the shoot pretty soon.”

“Okay” one of them chipped-in. “What do you suggest then sir?” she asked.

“Em…” I replied, unzipping my fly and easing out Mr. P from where he had been imprisoned all morning and afternoon. “How about some ‘head’ instead? You gurls know how to nod real good??”

One of the girls covered her mouth with her palm upon sighting Mr. P. I guessed she was impressed with what she saw….lolz.. Another girl however, smiled and said “Oooh! Nice! Girls, let’s get to work quickly!” And get to work was just what they did….WORKING ON ME THAT IS!. Easing me gently unto a chair, they all knelt before me and commenced the tongue worship of my big black cock.

Oh my! You should have been there to see them do what they did; to see them lick and tease my shaft before tongue-scrubbing my stiff rod. All four of them attended to me at the same fucking time and you bet there was more than enough saliva from their mouths to spare. Playfully dripping spit on me, they giggled as they struggled to suck hard on my cock, gagging themselves when necessary as they forced Mr. P down their throats. They truly made me go gaga as two of them later focused on both my dick-cap and rod whilst the others took my balls in their mouths; one ball in each mouth that is……*perv smile*.

Shit felt so good I swear! I delighted myself and took refuge in their small, warm and saliva-soaked mouths as they licked and sucked away on my throbbing member. In what seemed like a flash, the pleasure became unbearable with them sucking both my cock and balls at the same time and I couldn’t fight-off the urge to ejaculate. Closing my eyes, I let myself go and spurt out some thick sticky cum on one’s face. Mayne, that cum was plenty o! As in CHOI! It fully covered all of her face left for her eyes. My shit was all over her forehead, nose, cheeks, lips and chin. I had just begun appreciating my handiwork and the grin of satisfaction on their faces when a gentle knock sounded on the door and we all heard “Gurls, may I come in?”. We panicked instantly.

“Oh! Please hold on! We’re changing our clothes” one of them said and I quickly rushed to stand by the door so that when it was opened, I would be invisible hiding behind it. The girls frantically searched the room and their bags for tissue paper but could find none. In a desperate effort, one of them picked up a motorbike helmet lying among one of the props for the video-shoot and wore it on the head of the only girl bearing my cum as proof of the crime that we had all committed. They took off their costumes for real this time; leaving only their panties and bras on, most likely to appear convincing.

“You may come in now.” Another girl said and the door swung open. It was K10, one of the talented ensigns of El-Bee’s Tryce Records. He looked surprised to see a helmet-wearing model and said “Okay girls, break over. We resume shooting in two minutes!”

“Okay!!!” the gurls chorused. “We’ll be out by then” and the one wearing the helmet asked K10 “How do I look?”.


Photo Credit = @Hentai9ja (http://hentai9ja.tumblr.com)


K10 forced a weak smile and responded with “Er….Nice” and I imagined he had never seen a cute chick on only bra and panties before. The door closed anyway and I abandoned my hiding spot. The girls all giggled once more at our ‘close shave’.

“Girls, I’ll be leaving you now. El-Bee needs me. You all go ahead and strut your stuff on set okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word for all of you.” They all smiled at me and said “Thank you” before I used the door and was back in the open; with the harsh wind greeting my face.

“Ah there you are!” El-Bee began when he found me walking back towards where I had left him. “For a moment there, I feared you went missing out in the wild here.”

“Nah! I only checked on the girls after taking a piss….just to motivate and cheer them on to giving you their best in your video” I lied.

“Oh great! That’s very kind of you” and then he suddenly hollered in the direction of the video-director. “Me??? It’s time right? Okay, I’m coming!” And then he turned to me and said “The director needs me to play my part now. I’ll be back soon. Wish me luck okay?”

“Go break a leg bruv!” I smiled, saying to him and off he went; oblivious of what had happened in the shelter of his sexy models.

The video-shoot went as planned sha! I’d definitely say it was a huge success. You’ve seen it on TV right? What do you think?? Isn’t it just unique and refreshingly different from the others?? It is I tell ya!

What’s funny though is that while El-Bee was playing his part and miming to his song blasting-off a pair of speakers, I was enjoying yet another can of stout whilst relaxing on my seat and miming along with him; only sitting down and twisting the lyrics of his song this time………………………….

El-Bee dis your models make me wan dey kolo…..Olohun!
I enjoy blowjob small, sebi na you go sanwo?..........Olohun!
Their nodding turn me maga….Me sef fit sanwo……Olohun!
Ma sanwo…olohun!.....Walahi ma sanwo!.....OLOHUN!

Na me high pass of all the people wey dey shoot video today…..video today!
I don kpeff omo, I had cute models suck my dick all the way……all the way!
I wanted to get to know ‘em….that felt only right
Model after model…….t’wuz such a splendid sight
Had them on their knees….giving the ‘nodding’ of life
They took me higher…higher….HIGHER !!!


Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

That Bloody Pervert (TBP)

(Much gratitude to @Hentai9ja and @TweetOracle. God bless!!!)




Friday, February 1, 2013

Oh Mary…Oh Baby!

*Rolls off Mary to face the ceiling and wipes off sweat from forehead in between heavy breathing*…………….Wow! Mary my baby, that was a good one! But I keep asking you and you keep telling me “No”. Are you sure you don’t rub anything down there?...Not even vagina tightening oil or potash alum??? *turns on side to observe her face*…See, you’re shaking your head again ehn? So then, tell me nau! …how do you then keep your vagina so damn tight??? I mean, that snatch of yours be tight as fuck and I feel like each time I’m buried deep inside you, your pussy walls embrace me in a tight hug, only to squeeze me of my juice later. I know Mr. P ain’t small at all so please tell me how you fucking do it? Ehn??? Hmmn…you’re blushing again abi? That’s all you ever do really….smile and blush; suck and fuck; cook and clean. It’s awesome though, I mean. I only wish you were a little less shy outside my bedroom. Maybe it’s just a matter of time before I loosen you up…who knows???

Oh Mary! *sigh*….You sweet little thang! I vividly recall how we met and such a blessed evening it was. I was sitting all by myself at Kokodome and enjoying a bottle of my favourite brand of stout when you suddenly appeared from the blues and approached my vicinity. Your leopard-skin jeggins easily seized my attention and I couldn’t help but stare at your curvy protruding backside as you swung your legs. It was when you finally said “Hi” before walking past me to sit at a table close to mine; equally all by yourself that I instantly ascertained your identity. You see, I was used to relating and ‘dealing’ with ladies of your kind. I regularly took them home after ‘downing’ two bottles of my brand ‘cos that’s part of the effects which it has on me. What I’m simply trying to say is that sufficient stout in my system usually gets me horny as fuck and eager to relate with them ‘queens of the night’; ‘how-mush-you-go-pays’ and ‘Hoeloshos’ just like your god-damned self…..*perv grin*.

Anyway my dear, though you looked very artificial in your long, yellow hair, red lipstick and thoroughly powdered face, I truly found your backside irresistible. Your boobs seemed annoyingly small too but trust me, your yansh was all I ever needed. This is why I couldn’t help but leave my table to join you and I’m truly glad that I did so.

Oh Mary my baby! Do you recall our conversation that evening? You’re nodding your head like agama abi? I know you don’t speak much while with me due to your inability to speak Queen’s English for 60 seconds without bombing the whole house but it’s okay. I’ve caught you once relating with your girlfriends and I know you can be a real livewire when in your elements.

Now back to our first conversation ehn? Yeah, I remember when I joined you we had some trouble communicating in pure English so I had to switch to pidgin since I’m not so fluent in Yoruba myself. Because I’m fully aware that females of your type are street-smart and not ladies, I chose simple topics for our discussion whilst entertaining you with a pack of White London cigarettes, a bottle of St. Remy and two plates of asun (peppered goat meat). I knew that would put me in your good books and allow you later accept my offer of N3000 to have you for the night, instead of the usual N5000 or N6000 which you and your people normally charge and it certainly worked like a charm. You decided to follow me home because you were both happy and drunk…and as I recall, you even whispered in my ear saying “No worry, I go do you beta”….lolz. See…you’re blushing again shey?? OLODO!...*perv smile*

Oh Mary my baby! I still remember. You stayed true to your words that night and truly ‘did me beta’. Upon reaching my crib and leading you to the bedroom, you immediately began ‘working’ on me; kissing my lips first before taking your sweet, soft tongue to my ears and teasing them with sexy, sensual licks. While doing so, you had one of your hands on my member; rubbing Mr. P through my denim and that made him ‘Go Hard’ like Brymo the Choc boi. I think I even leaked-off some precum sef….*perv wink*.

Oh Mary my baby! You also unbuckled my pants and had them on the ground whilst still teasing my sensitive ears and mouth with your very velvety tongue. Before I could say ‘Mary Magdalene, your hand was already raw and live on me; stroking Mr. P hard while still kissing me and you succeeded in throwing my poor old tipsy self into a frenzy.

Now Mary my baby! Do you think I could ever forget what happened next? How you dropped to your knees and blessed me with your whole mouth??? Ahn-ahn nau! You know it’s not possible! Me who loves blowjobs more than any other existing sexual act?? Me that cherishes dick-sucking the most of all the moves in the book of Kamasutra? Ah! Me, I can’t forget o! You licked me and you sucked me. You bit me a little and you healed me with your sweet, sticky saliva and pleasured me all over; YES! All over, including my big hairy balls….Lolz.

Anyway, I never knew you still had more goodies in store for me until you pushed me on the bed and straddled me. When I felt my dick slide into your opening, nothing but pure disbelief consumed me. I begged to disagree that I was inside your arse and not your vagina. Shit! That shit was fucking tight mayne! Never in my life had I fucked a cunt as tight as yours. Not even with gurls who aren’t into runs. *shaking my head*….and to think that you’re an Olosho….mayne, your pussy is one of a kind baby….I SWEAR!

Oh Mary my baby! You rode me like a cowgirl riding a fine steed. I was your okada and you were my okada-man. I didn’t mind your gear 1 ‘cos the strokes from your pussy were gentle and kind. When you switched to gear 2, I started having the feeling that your pussy was just too sweet and tight because the feeling to explode inside you was beginning to overwhelm me. I stared into your face to confirm that you were really the one making me feel this way and feeling like I was fucking for the first time in my whole damn perverted life and I saw that you were also consumed by the spirit of ecstasy. Oh how can I forget the sweet funny sounds you made?? I expected the usual “Ooohs” and “Aaahhhs” but yours was amusingly strange. You let out soft, gentle moans that quickly reminded me of Jodie, the artiste as you sounded-off “Kuchi-Kuchi” while squeezing and biting your lips and while firmly shutting your eyelids. I knew you were feeling Mr. P too and for a second there, I felt tempted to join you by having my eyes closed as well. Maybe the sensation felt better that way…right??? C’mon answer me nau! You dis shy geh sef….Mtscheew!...Lolz.

Oh Mary my baby! You know it was when you eventually switched to gear 3 that you had me right? Mayne, I couldn’t cope with your shit no more because just then, I felt like your pussy walls extra tightened and wanted to squeeze out every single drop of cum in me. I couldn’t take the super-hot dick-pussy embrace no more and I let myself go….yeah, I let myself loose inside you; something I rarely do. I’m glad sha that you assured me you would take care of yourself because you kuku know I’m not ready to become a father yet, right? Uhun!

Oh Mary my baby! I recall that I passed-out into a deep slumber right after I came hard and you didn’t get to cum that night. I’m very sorry for that is not my usual practice. I guess your pussy wore me out quickly. Anyway, you can also confirm yourself now that I’m a true woman pleaser. How many times have I successfully made you cum now? Ehn?? Talk to me nau! You don’t want #TeamPerv to know I always make you scream your sweet, melodious “Kuchi-Kuchi” each time I force you to ejaculate some fluid from your pink toto ehn??? Well guess what? They know now….hehehe……….

Oh Mary my baby! You know what I can’t forget the most? Let me tell you. It was the morning after I swear! I woke up to a strange but wonderful sensation and when I opened my eyes, your face was right before me; bobbing up and down on Mr. P and taking care of my morning wood. I couldn’t believe my eyes at that moment till I realised I had cum inside your mouth and you had swallowed all my potential seeds. You were indeed a true angel ‘cos no other bitch had ever taken care of my EMEaazzzy (Early Morning Erection) that way before. Your sucking felt great and I made up my mind to pick you up at the Dome every Wednesday and Friday; which I have been doing of course and it suddenly feels like we’re dating now. *sigh*…well, I don’t mind really! I must continue to see you once you keep giving some good morning head and your snatch remains as tight as ever.

Oh Mary my baby! Knowing you has really been both satisfying and refreshing and I don’t think I could ever stick my prick inside another Hoelosho’s pussy again. Yours is all a perv like me could ever want and could ever need. Everything about you is just so perfect and I’ve got just the perfect song to sing to you and let you know just how I feel deep down inside. Are you ready? Gosh! A nod from you?? You really are going to let me sing to you??? COOL! Okay! Here it goes then!...a1…a2…a3….and GO!................

Oh Mary!...Oh baby!.........
Oh Mary!...Oh baby!.........

When I wake up, wake up in the morning
I see your lovely face
Your lips sucking and tongue oiling me with saliva
Mayne, you take my breath away

Your pretty little mouth on Mr. P feels so tender
And I sure as fuck know what's coming soon
Your tight pink vagina, a bliss to remember
Oh the god of ecstasy has surely blessed me with you!
The very first evening you said "Hi" to me
I knew that "Hi" would turn into "Ooooh" eh eh!

And because of you eh eh!....Oh Mary!...Oh baby!
I see me in your pride
Oh baby!...Oh baby!
I see love between your thighs

You tell me "kuchi-kuchi" aaaahhhhnnnn!
I understand

You give me sweet pussy-pussy aaaaaahhhhnnnn!.....CHEI!

Oh Mary!....Oh baby!


Bye-bye Mary!....See you next Wednesday. MWAH!!!

Yours truly,

That Bloody Pervert







Saturday, January 26, 2013

A Toast To The Greatest Team On Twitter >>> #TeamPerv !!!

Folks who know me very well know I rep #TeamPerv to tha fullest. Why, it’s the greatest team on Twitter!…WORD! And I don’t care what any tweep outside my beloved team says but I’m TBP and sticking with #TeamPerv for life!...GBAM!

In truth, there’s truly nothing I love more than deep, sexual, perverted talk (besides the actual act of sex anyway) and my fellow #TeamPerv mates never fail to impress me. Though I hardly find the time to tweet at them and relate like I should, my spirits always get lifted each time I read and digest their tweets and interactions amongst themselves. I sure do hope they understand that though I rarely join their conversations, I love ‘em all and they remain my one, true family on the cool social network.

Speaking of my #TwitterFam now, I’ve got lots of them: The straight ones, the bi-sexual ones, the gay ones and the confused ones….lolz. Trust me, I know exactly what I’m talking about.

Oh yeah! I also got a special #TwitterFam; She’sAllSmiles based in Canada but the truth is, she really doesn’t like to be associated with the team (even when I know she is truly one of us despite her failing to admit it) but that don’t matter. What matters is that she loves and supports me however she can and I’m grateful for it.

Other than this special family member, the rest of my #TeamPerv mates are quite plain, simple and open about their feelings, intentions and sexuality. Like me, they just wanna talk dirty, set P, fuck and have their fun all the damn fucking time. That’s how it should be and that’s how it is with us.

Of all my #TeamPerv mates, the tweep who amazes me the most is Tha Perv Rocker. Mayne, that tweep can talk nonsense for Africa. Choi! His tweets are more often than not, a cool mixture of sex and humour and this is why he remains top on my list. I usually find myself doffing my hat for him whenever I find his tweets on my timeline.

I also got my personal padis – KonjiBoiTwit and PervyByNature whose tweets get me chuckling from time to time, when I do come across them. These tweeps be awesome I tell ya!

There’s also CertifiedPerv who is a friend beyond Twitter and who encourages me to keep on writing (which I intend to do anyway). He once told me my posts entertain him and you bet my medium-sized head swelled at that remark. Speaking of encouragement, I would kill myself if I didn’t mention the tweep, iTweetWord. Mayne, that nigga is one good and supportive fella. When we first met on Twitter, he told me I had become his best friend after reading only one of my blogposts. Ever since, he’s been doing his best in promoting me; absolutely for FREE! Can you imagine that shit??? That nigga kind as fuck! The whole promotion thing is what my new friend and #NamesakeOfLife, Debola aka _Kreamz is equally trying to do now. I believe he also digs my posts because he never fails to recommend my blog to anyone he comes across in need of some sexual entertainment. I’m grateful to him as well. Much gratitude goes to 7footplus, PussyBob, Opatunde, and tobyt007 too for being cool perv bros.

There are other fantastic perv-mates of course, just that all their names/handles don’t easily and readily come to mind. They should please pardon me for not including their names on this post. It don’t change the fact that we’re still family.

Ah yes! Believe it or not but I we also got female pervs in the house. Oh yes! I’m talking about hot and sexy females repping #TeamPerv. There’s my special Slutty Nurse, SexyNorma2 who treats me whenever I’m sick….lolz and who inspired and encouraged me to come up with one of my best posts so far. I’d say we made up that post together sha and she’s so awesome. There’s also FoxyVivica1983, who happens to be KonjiBoi’s gurlfriend and I wish them pure blissful sex always. Mmmm….there’s PrettyDerbie as well and Oh my! There are many other female members whose handles I honestly can’t remember this minute and I do beg their forgiveness. #TeamPerv is just one BIG perverted family mehn! No doubt!

Uhun! I just remembered that there are other tweeps who are not necessarily #TeamPerv mates but are friends of That Bloody Pervert. Talking about Stypella, Opixxy, GA_Mula, GeorgeAkiojano, Lamzi1, Kozlatosh and a host of others. They rarely tweet the kind of stuff that I’m down with but they appreciate and support me so that sorta makes them family as well….but not on the #TeamPerv level sha!....Lolz.

Anyway, you probably didn’t know this but I’ma tell you right now. I’m currently faded on Legend Extra Stout so please, kindly forgive me if you are a #TeamPerv mate; we are following each other on Twitter and I still failed to mention you. It wasn’t intentional I swear. Please don’t hate me. I love y’all!....#NoHomo to the guys please.

Since this is supposed to me my toast to you guys as I continue to sip from my glass cup, I want y’all to know that I’ll be down with y’all forever ‘cos I’m #TeamPerv for life! Tweeps outside our team don’t know us...they don’t understand us and they may be quick to judge us but I’ma use one of Westlife’s songs in making them understand that we are PROUDLY PERVERTS. Here it goes…………………….

Every Perv is looking for that something
That something that makes it all complete
We find it in the Private Places…………Places they fear and refuse to see
Some of us find it between the legs of young children
Others find it between their girlfriends’ thighs
But we can’t deny the joy it brings………when we find that special thing…
WE’RE FLYING WITHOUT WINGS !!!


Know the song???...........Hehehehe…………………

God bless you #TeamPerv mates!.........& Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

Yours truly,

That Bloody Pervert








TBP’s Diary 26/01/2013 (Last Diary Confession I Guess)

Dear Diary,

I’m afraid today didn’t begin well because my older brother prevented me from carrying-out my daily exercise on Mr. P with some good sweet wanking. Not that he told me not to do so or anything. He just appeared to be in the same room with me because he paid me a visit last night and slept over. There was certainly no way I could have stroked myself with him on the same bed you know?? When I’m not like #Oomf….*lips sealed*. That dude is just something else!

Anyway, be rest assured I attended to Mr. P’s needs as soon as my bro left later this morning. I did so with some festish porn starring Kelly Madison. You know her right? She’s the pretty white lady with the big jugs. She’s been featuring in pornflicks since I discovered the realm of pornography and I wonder just how many cocks have actually been inside her…..Very PLENTY I think!.........*sigh*

Anyway, something amusing happened when I took my bro out to eat at a local restaurant not far from my new crib. I met a new perv repping #TeamPerv (Local), Challenge Division…Lolz. The guy’s a local #TeamPerv mate because he don’t know nothing about speaking English. He spoke only pure, raw and thick Yoruba throughout the time that my brother and I spent there eating rice, dodo with beef and pure water.

This nigga, while brother and I forked our food, kept telling the owner of the canteen; who was obviously from Ibadan by her accent that he had no money on him to pay for the meal he was eating but that…..WAIT FOR IT….but that he was willing to pay in kind. Can you believe that shit??? His words – “Ewo, emi o lowo lowo o! Se ema gba kin sanwo ninu ile?”…meaning “Look, I don’t have money on me o! Will you allow me pay you inside your house?” Shiiiiidddd….That guy was obviously charming in a razz way because much to my distaste, he kept the woman blushing and smiling like an idiot. She didn’t respond or even seem upset one bit by her customer’s comments and I suspected that the guy had most likely pounded her pussy before. I mean, shit only seemed logical and made sense that way. You can’t talk sexual nonsense to a female without a negative reaction unless if she secretly wants you to lay her or you’ve already laid her. That’s my opinion. Plus when this dude was done eating, he kept saying “Oya, eje ka wole ninu yara kin sanwo mi”…meaning “Let’s go into your room so that I can pay for my meal”. Mayne, that guy sure had guts boasting in front of us strangers about his familiarity with madam’s vagina. Anyway, I must confess I was truly entertained throughout my brief period eating there even though no one actually went into any room to do ‘that thing’.

Now, Dear Diary, I hope you’re not upset about the bracket part of my post title? Please don’t be. When I created you, I had in mind an avenue to update my blog on a daily basis. However, this diary thing ain’t really working for me. As in…I’m not just feeling it. I’m so so sorry. I gotta quit you now and go back to telling my regular sexual stories. I think I’ll be contented with having a proper story here on a weekly basis at the least than some personal mumbo-jumbo everyday, which just might bore my readers. Please understand and don’t be offended. Who knows, we just might get to relate again. Goodbye ehn? Till whenever!


Yours truly,

That Bloody Pervert






Friday, January 25, 2013

TBP’s Diary 25/01/2013

Dear Diary,

Welcome to my world; my blog and private life. I have decided to create you not just because I need to update this blog of mine frequently but because I also need someone to share my daily perverted thoughts and sexual experiences with. I need someone who will listen without questioning or judging me and someone who will remain with me till the day I hit six feet under. I reckon you fit the bill, SO THERE!

Dear Diary, you already know who I am and what I stand for so I’ll just go ahead and share with you. I feel very glad and relieved having finished the ‘Yori-Yori’ story. Mayne, that shit took longer than expected to complete but I’m glad it’s finally on here now. You know I’ve been very distracted lately right??? Yeah, you know! You know I had to change my residence and finding a suitable crib plus moving out wasn’t a bit easy. Anyway, I’m all fully settled now (I think) and I hope to find more free time to actually type my stories and thoughts as well as blog about them.

Speaking of my blogposts, Dear Diary please help me beg all #TeamPerv mates and friends of That Bloody Pervert o! I haven’t been in touch with them lately and I fear that they would be thinking that I’m now pompous and forming celeb for them. You kuku know every aspa what I’ve been going through lately, shey? You know I hardly have time to tweet as much as I used to due to that ‘thing’…..that thing that is still having me search for the true meaning of my existence here on earth…..*shaking my head*

Anyway, I still remain assured and positive that ‘e go beta’. Since my program is still on suspension at LCU and Splash FM refused to accept me, I must continue to have faith that one day, I will break bread with this blog of mine. I will make it as an infamous sex blogger. I don’t fucking care how long it takes so long as it does happen someday.

But talking about Splash now, chai! E pain me wella o! I truly had high hopes for that station. I concluded I would be taken since I am sure I did well in both the oral and written tests. I truly wanted a career in broadcasting but I am not sure I still want that anymore. Hmmnn…..Man proposes, God disposes. Maybe, I should just keep on blogging everyday till the publisher of an erotic magazine contacts me with a juicy contract and then I can ‘hammer’. Oh that would be so nice ‘cos there’s nothing I love more than writing about sex talk…...*perv grin*

I still recall how the interview went though. I arrived at the station looking dashing in T.Rex’s black blazer on my grey shirt and black pair of trousers. I was certain everyone noticed me when I walked into the waiting room not just because of my looks or my scent but because of my confidence. I acted like I had already gotten the job and as if confirming my optimism, one pretty female and fellow applicant instantly began ‘famzing’ with me. Such a pretty thing she was with her bright, fair skin tone, long legs and pointy chest. She had a white smile too and I paid her all the attention I could manage. I knew that if we were both taken; amongst the 11 others, she would be the first employee that I would fuck silly…NO DOUBT! I had some intuition that her punana would be tight as fuck when I eventually got to beat it. Anyway, I guess she’s lucky now. Afterall I didn’t get in….despite the interviewers showing genuine interest in my personal life, work experience and responses to their entertaining questions……*shaking my head*….and I still didn’t get the job. Fuck Splash mayne! I don’t give a fuck about her no more. She had just berra keep doing her thang and repping Ibadan. And I certainly wish her luck in competing with Beat 97.9 FM. Gonna be some tough shit I tell ya!

Truth is, apart from this pretty female applicant, whom I ‘famzed’ with, the other female employees didn’t seem sexually appealing to me. They were all either too fat, too short or wearing super-heavy make-up on that particular Friday. I recall that one of them messed up her gorgeous face with a big, fat, sagging pair of buttocks that made me shake my head for a good three minutes. I guess all that make-up was for the photo-shoot which they had just before I left the office. Tis all good though but I’m sure that if I was indeed accepted, none of them gurls would ever get to see, feel, lick or fuck Mr. P…THAT’S FOR SURE!

Hmmnnn……But now I’m thinking….Do you think Splash ran some underground check on me and discovered I am TBP? I’m now thinking is quite possible that they discovered I bear @Peniscillin on Twitter, where I talk about nothing but sex, sex, SEX! However, that shouldn’t be enough reason to disqualify me naa! HIAN!!! I ain’t quitting this blog for nobody I SWEAR! I’m gon’ remain TBP for LIFE!!!

Anyway, guess what happened to me this evening? *chuckle*…I’ll tell you. You know Nigeria played against Zambia right??? Well, because I felt like sipping my brand; Legend Extra Stout while enjoying the game, I decided to visit the same pub that I’ve patronised four times already now and deny myself the comfort of watching the match on my DSTV Walka at home. This decision paid off though because…..*laughs*….because, I SAW THINGS!....Lolz…..

Just after Mikel foolishly threw away a priceless penalty, two young ladies with deep Oyo facial marks waltzed in and sat close to me. One of them turned her glance at me into a stare and ordinarily, I would have instantly felt uneasy but for my kind bottle of Legend, which kept me calm and steady. I guess she was feeling the boy and wondering why I was sitting all by myself. That was my business not hers anyway and after one quick look at them, I rushed into the assumption that they were local chicks from the neighbourhood.

Two minutes later, my suspicion was confirmed when the waiter approached them to take their orders. One of them ordered for 33 lager beer while the other called for Trophy beer. I was dazed on my seat and was like WHAT THE FUCK??? Chicks drinking 33 and Trophy??? PUEH!!! I mean, I can tolerate chicks drinking small stout or Smirnoff or Snapp or even Gordon Spark (if that shit still even exists) but certainly not that kind of beer. I just didn’t find such befitting enough for the womenfolk.

While I sipped my black stuff, I caught the one who gave me an earlier stare throwing more glances my way. She even entertained me with some thigh claps. You know what I mean right? That thing women do when they get agitated, restless or excited by opening and closing their thighs continuously for a period of time??? Yeah, that’s it! Each time I see chicks do that, I usually sing along in my head saying “Oya Shina Rambo open and close! Open and close! Close o!....Open and close! Open o!...Open and close!”…lolz. I think that’s Sir Shina Peters’ song.
So you bet that with these thigh-claps of hers, I got to see her panty. It was light-blue but I wasn’t impressed because it looked faded and cheap. When she later began stroking her partner’s thighs as well, I concluded again that they were just local lesbian/bisexual hoes looking for a guy to chat them up, pay for their drinks and take them home for some local fucking. Not me though….Nah!...Not me and I guess I disappointed them by leaving immediately Zambia equalised. Such a shame our Super Chickens couldn’t help but draw that match.

Oh yeah! Before I forget, I reconnected with some of my #TeamPerv mates on Twitter today and also got a new follower. My dearest @SexyNorma2 also requested that I stop by her hospital tomorrow for some sweet jabs. I’m supposed to also not wear boxer shorts so I know tomorrow will be a fun day………*perv grin*. I really wish I could relate with them more and get to know them better. Truth is, it’s now kinda difficult tweeting as much as I used to when I was still a newbie and hungry for attention. I know someday though, I’ll resolve that and get to do so. Kindly also help me thank my namesake; Adebola aka @_Kreamz for promoting me for free. That nigga be a true #NamesakeOfLife, I tell ya. He cool! Oh shit! How could I possibly forget??? *slaps self*....I really should be thanking ma boss, the Oracle too. I’m highly indebted to him and I’m not sure when and if I will actually be able to clear all my ‘gbese’. So help me God!

*Yawns*…..I gotta rest my perverted fingers now. Sleep calling. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye-bye!

Yours truly,

That Bloody Pervert







Thursday, January 24, 2013

My Yori-Yori

Once upon a time and back in secondary school, there was a girl in my class whom I called my ‘Yori-Yori’. I was in JSS 3 back then and it was a time when all the boys had just learnt about puberty and its amazing results on the human body. We had all awaited with keen interest, such a development and closely monitored every single girl in that class of ours to see who the spirit of puberty would touch first. We paid undivided attention to the girls because according to our biology teacher, it was the females who felt the wind of puberty first; who felt that cool wind blow right across them to leave them looking and feeling like the ‘Naija’ version of transformers with new curves, lumps, hair and blood in peculiar places.

The teacher had asked us all our ages once and declared that either before the end of the term or at the beginning of the new term, we would all have attained puberty; the girls going first of course. That was his prediction. He also said we boys had to wait for a few more months after the girls had fully gone through that cycle to experience ours.

Now, thinking about it all over again, I really don’t know what our craze about puberty was all about at the time but I guess it was because it had something to do with bigger boobs, bush on the punana, and the accompanying awesome feeling of horniness. I mean, these were signs all the boys wanted to see; especially me who was still a young budding pervert at the time…lolz. I was already used to seeing animated bushfull vaginas on the pages of ‘Nackson’ magazine and I wanted to see what a real feminine bush looked like. (I know what you’re thinking now. Though I was a young pervert, I was still only hooked to Nackson. No Tickles, No Better Lover; No video PORN yet) Thank you!

So anyway, you can imagine our great disappointment when day after day till the last day of the term, we checked-out our female counterparts’ chests every morning in class but found no sign of improvement or development. We literally visited them; stood in front of their desks and stared at their chests while pretending to be talking to them to see if we could sight some sweet new lumps of mammary matter that we could beg to suck in exchange for a pack of cornflakes or a tin of Milo but ended up discovering nothing. It killed us inside and we began to doubt that biology teacher of ours. We thought maybe he predicted wrongly because he really didn’t know his onions. However, we were indeed the ones who eventually turned out to be wrong.

All the boys of JSS 3D went home disappointed from school for the holiday at the end of the term. We were all dejected because none of us could boast of any sweet tale to share with friends at home about sucking on some freshly-made puberty breasts. We felt our holiday would be boring and we really didn’t look forward to any holiday fun. We had hoped for some titty fun and we got none. It was like our dreams and aspirations had suddenly crashed and come to an end.

Things took an amazing turn however at the beginning of the new term……well not for all of us sha; I won’t lie. What happened was that our class finally got to witness the existence of puberty. YAY!!! The only sad thing about the whole thing was that it happened to ONLY one girl first, LONG BEFORE the other girls experienced such bodily change.

Now Amaka was not just the ugliest girl in the class but the ugliest girl in the whole of JSS 3. She was ugly as FUCK and she never put up an argument with anyone over it because she knew it herself. With a very black and pimples-dominated face, she had big ears, black thin lips and a pair of long spot-full legs PLUS she was far; VERY FAR from sexy. Such an ugly hoe I tell ya! Such an ugly piece of trash…..*straight face*

So you can therefore imagine the shock all the boys went through when, on the first day of school, we discovered Amaka had undergone some huge transformation and had fast blossomed into a woman. She was seriously packing on her chest mayne! Puberty succeeded in blessing that bitch first and it gave her a pair of HUGE, POINTY KNOCKERS. Oh yeah! I’m talking about BIG BOOBIES now!

The disheartening part however was that no other girl, NOT A SINGLE OTHER FEMALE CLASSMATE was equally visited by the spirit of puberty and all of us boys couldn’t fathom why. I mean, why would the spirit choose to upgrade only one girl out of 25???; and the ugliest of them all for that matter???? Mayne, that shit was a real puzzle to me but thinking about it again now, I guess it’s things like this that make life what it is; strange, complex and unfathomable.

In any case, this new development created some form of confusion in class. All the boys disliked Amaka greatly but they couldn’t help but stare hard at her full and swollen blouse each time they passed by her desk. They refused to change their attitude and talk to her while secretly admiring her titties but I understood their plight. That girl was ONE UGLY DAUGHTER OF A HOE MAYNE! I bet the boys also hated the rest of the girls for ‘carrying last’ because they also began to snub them. I mean, no one truly has the right to question God or mother nature but we were only young and stupidly naïve at the time, so who could blame us?

What made matters worse ehn?? Hmmn….Amaka started seeing her period o! You go fear fear naa! A class would just be in session and a boy or two would simply scream-out upon noticing trickles of blood coming from underneath Amaka’s chair and forming a pool on the floor. Such a panic usually made her feel ashamed, embarrassed and more withdrawn and her fellow girls didn’t help matters for they always sneered at her whenever such happened. I know why though….THEY WERE FUCKING JEALOUS that Amaka’s bumbum was leaking blood before theirs…..lolz.

Now, as for me, I was in a little dilemma. I detested Amaka’s face but I admired her new body; especially her rack of course. The sight of those jugs of milk firmly glued to her chest fascinated me and I couldn’t help but fantasise about wrapping one titty with my mouth and milking her like a cow. Funny thing is, each time I shared this fantasy with some of the boys, I always received a slap on the cheek, a knock on the head or a hard pull at my ear while hearing “E be like say you don dey mad abi??? You wan suck ugly geh bobbie? YOU DON CRAZE FINISH!” I always bore the pain and insults though and continued wishing upon Amaka’s breasts; hoping that one day I would get to suck them. That day did actually come and I can never EVER forget it till the day I die…..*perv wink*.

It so happened that one fateful day, my dear Amaka; during an English class, yelled out in pain. Holding her tummy and groaning like a baby, she tumbled out of her chair and unto the hard concrete floor. As she hit the ground with a light thud, confusion set in and the rest of us rose to our feet in hot panic. I and a girl sitting next to Amaka quickly rushed to her side to help her back on her feet and as we gently picked her up, I noticed a small pool of blood had already formed where she lay. I wasted no time in concluding that it was Amaka’s time of the month again and this time, she was having it real bad. I shook my head and pitied her…. “Oh the poor thang!” I thought to myself. I sympathised with the ugly but quite sexy bitch.

By now, Mr. Adetoyinbo, our English teacher had gotten himself into the matter as a super hero to save the situation and help our ugly but boobielicious damsel in distress. “This young lady needs help. Who will volunteer to assist and get her to the school clinic?” he asked but no one responded. The class suddenly became unusually silent and I heard faint grumbles from everyone around me. No one wanted to help an ugly classmate….*shaking my head*

“YOU!....Yes you!” teacher pointed at Ayobami, the tallest boy in the class who was already wearing a frown. “Please come here and kindly assist your classmate to the clinic.”

“Ah! Please sir, I can’t o! My hand is paining me……besides she is just too ugly for me to carry” he mumbled the last part which the teacher didn’t quite hear and that gave me a good chuckle.

“Ehen??? Your hand hurts abi? Which is why you can’t be your brother or in this case; sister’s keeper abi??? You really should be ashamed of yourself.”

And teacher went on showering insults on Ayobami; totally ignoring the fact that Amaka was still writhing in pain. I couldn’t stomach any further delay with all my classmates refusing to volunteer and help so I shocked everyone; well everyone except teacher anyway.

“Excuse me sir, I’ll help” I spat out as I rushed back to Amaka’s side.

“You? But are you sure you can carry her?? You seem too small for this job.”

“Don’t worry sir, I’ll manage” I said convincingly and proceeded to carry Amaka on my back like a little baby. It was when I had her resting firmly on me from behind that I understood teacher’s doubt and fear. Amaka was fucking heavy mayne! I was certain for sure that her big juicy boobs contributed so much to her weight on me and I wondered if I could truly cope and make it to the clinic without me needing some medical attention of my own. I took courage and braced up for the worst still. By the time I was heading out the door, I faintly heard teacher say “God bless you young lad. Such bravery and kindness indeed!”

It was a long, tedious, energy-sapping and sweat-exhausting journey to the clinic. I had to muster every single iota of strength in me to get both Amaka and I to the school clinic. I made it though and once at the entrance, two kind nurses relieved me of my burden and took Amaka from me. I guess she was placed on instant admission for a doctor quickly came out and dismissed me; thanking me and letting me know that she would be fine in no time. As I turned around to make my way out of the building, I felt a wet patch on my shirt sticking to my back and that caused quite an uncomfortable feeling. I pulled out the shirt from my trousers and fought to look at the spot whilst twisting my neck only to find that the wet patch was caused by Amaka’s blood……blood from HER VAGINA??? “CHAI!!!” I thought to myself. “Dis geh don stain me with her menses o!”

You bet that by the time I was back in class, all my classmates were waiting eagerly for me. I expected praises and pats on the back but what I got instead; especially from the boys were hard and heavy knocks on the head. “You this fool! Why did you carry that ugly thing on your back ehn? Couldn’t you have allowed teacher to do it himself when you saw that none of us was willing to help?? Now look, see your shirt now. It’s stained with an ugly girl’s blood. Blood from the ugliest girl in school’s vagina for that matter. I pray you get infected with her ugliness…OLODO!” they all said while jeering at me. I didn’t mind them as usual though. I proceeded to my desk and sat down quietly to review my recent actions. “Did I do the right thing? Was Amaka’s blood going to infect me with something?? Was I going to be the second outcast of the class due to Amaka’s ugliness and my infatuation with her breasts???” I became such a confused soul.

During lunch break, I decided to check up on Amaka and find out how she was doing. As I headed for the clinic, I hoped and prayed she had not leaked-out all the blood in her body through her pussy because that would only mean her boobies would no longer remain big and firm but saggy and squishy and that would be such a terrible development.

Anyway, upon reaching the clinic, one of the nurses who had taken her from me earlier recognised me and kindly led me to her room to see her. I found Amaka on a bed with her eyes closed. I assumed she was asleep and had no intention of waking her. But instead of leaving, I decided to kill some time by staring at her swollen chest. I imagined just what it would be like to actually take those big, twin mounds of milk chambers in my mouth and suck them. I was sure the feeling; unlike her face would be beautiful and my face lit up with a smile.

Amaka coughed just then and opened her eyes. She looked up at me just then and I felt like her eyeballs bore deep holes into my face.

“You’re awake” I quickly began with some uneasiness. “How are you feeling?”

Amaka smiled at me before responding. “I am much better now. Thanks for all your help.” Then she shook me with her next few words…”You may see them if you want to!”

“Huh?? See what?” I asked in beffudlement.

“My breasts of course! I know you want to see them ‘cos you’ve been staring at them since you got here.”

“SHIT!” I said to myself. I was officially busted! “You weren’t really asleep when I walked in right?”

“Nah! I was asleep until I heard my nurse usher you into the room. You’ve been kind to me and I wish to return the kindness. Do you wish to see them or not???”

I felt like this was the only chance I had to see the breasts that I had long fantasised about and be the first boy in JSS 3 to actually see and possibly feel some real puberty boobs. I became fucking animated and my usual perv smile played itself on my face.

“Oh yes, please!” I responded.

Amaka retained her smile as she asked me to go and lock the door. By the time I returned to her side, all the buttons on her blouse had been loosened and her bra unfastened. The white lace breasts-protector hung loosely on her fleshy mountains and my jaw dropped in amazement. Mayne, Amaka’s breasts were big, fair, fresh and firm. They instantly reminded me of N200 Agege bread.

Amaka smiled some more. She knew I was excited about what I was seeing and she encouraged me in my journey to pleasurable ecstasy.

“Go ahead then….Feel ‘em!” she said to me with an alluring voice. I couldn’t believe my luck. Amaka was actually encouraging me to touch and press her bobbie??? CHOI!!! I felt like I was already floating on thin air. I felt on top of the world!

Gently slipping both hands underneath her bra, I made to touch, rub and caress Amaka’s breasts. They felt awesome to touch and I felt my little Mr. P vibrate like Nokia 3310. Amaka’s boobs were soft yet full….big yet delightful. I was really having a ball pressing and squeezing these young and fresh pair of breasts that I really couldn’t help but break into a very popular song by award winning duo, Bracket…………………………..

Na these breasts make people dey say…..I don lose my 6; my brain!
But they can’t stop me from squeezing you…..so I’m with you my lovu-lovu!
With you everything is wellu-wellu….your breasts dey make my heart do yori-yori
Nobody can stop me from sucking your boobs….I’m with you my yori-yori!


You bet that I got Amaka giggling uncontrollably as I sang to myself amid pressing, smooching and squeezing her fascinating breasts. Her giggling face somehow made me realise she wasn’t so ugly when she was in high spirits. I guess all she needed was just to smile and laugh more.

“Debola, you’re not serious o! Is it my boobs you’re calling yori-yori??”

“Ah! Yes nau! Don’t you know you’ve got an amazing rack? You get the other girls jealous all the time with this wonderful pair of milk jugs. I’ve always fantasised about sucking them.”

“Oh really?” she asked me with sincere curiosity.

“Why yes!...Honest!” and then I resumed singing………………………

Your breasts dey affect my brain
And if I suck am, I go go insane
Please leave am the way e dey…the way e dey….ooh my love!

I say your breasts dey affect my brain
If I no take time, I go go insane
Abeg allow me suck am today…suck am today…ooh my love!

I say na dis bobbie dey make people dey say….. I don lose my 6; my brain
But they can’t stop me from….&^%$%$£”&…..


Amaka didn’t let me finish. She placed a finger across my lips to hush me and said “Look, nurse will soon be back, I’m sure. If you really wanna suck on my breasts, now’s your chance!”

I was like “EWOOO! You’re right o!”

What do you figure I did next EHN???...........*perv grin*


Yours truly,

That Bloody Pervert






Monday, January 7, 2013

Ghen-Ghen Lust.

Approximately two months back, I got the rare opportunity of ‘famzing’ (being and acting familiar) with a fast rising female Nigerian musician. I had fallen in love with her first hit-single the instant I heard it on Splash FM in Ibadan and sang it all over the place. I sang it in school, in front of the school’s main gate; in the hostel; while shitting in the toilet; while bathing in the bathroom; even in the kitchen while stealing a floor-mate’s piece of meat. I mean EVERY FUCKING WHERE I went, I sang that piece of good music! In fact ehn, I sang that awesome song so much that my hostel-mates almost nicknamed me ‘Mr. Ghen-Ghen’. No be lie!

Now about this ‘famzing’ ehn? Mayne, shit felt so good at the time. It’s really not just because she’s a celebrity, but more because she is a HOT, YOUNG celebrity. I never knew she would actually respond on Twitter when I told her I liked her song. I assumed that, like the others, she would simply put me in my place and relate instead, with her kind. She however surprised me by replying and thanking me for appreciating her music and even laughed over my Raw Tweet Remix of her lyrics, which I sent to her but that was not my climax, trust me. My climax came when she actually requested a link to a quite popular blogpost of mine involving some of Burna Boy’s lyrics which I twisted for my blogging pleasure. Mayne, I was elated. It was a high point for me for real! I felt on top of the world sending my link to such a sexy hottie who doubled as a gifted musician and also a celebrity. MAYNE, NO BE SMALL TIN O!...lolz

BUT ALAS, the famzing ended so soon! I became super sad when she no longer responded to my tweets; especially the one where I sought her permission to remix her hit single for a story here. Maybe, she panicked; maybe she became skeptical of my intentions or maybe, just maybe she decided to finally give me the ‘Celeb treatment’.

In any case, she may have thought that she had pushed me away completely but as fate would have it, she was so damn wrong because the famzing returned in SUCH AN AWESOME WAY AND IN A WAY THAT NEITHER OF US SAW COMING. OH YEAH!!! *wink*

Oh! By the way, her name is Yeni Alade. I’m sure you know her or have at least, heard of her. She’s so pretty and her songs are so melodious and sexy that they can actually help the average individual attain an orgasm without a sex partner or sex toy. When I first saw her in a music-video with one 6-packed guy like that in ‘Sumtin ya body’, doing some sweet, sensual, crazy things to him; I immediately hated that nigga. I felt like he was tapping current from my crush and the ‘tin bin PAIN ME GAAN!’ I was however elated and relieved to find her alone 97% of the time in her own video for her hit-single and mayne, my mouth watered from beginning till end. Have you seen that video at all? Mayne, her body is SMOKING HOT and her sexy dance moves are erotic enough for me; or any #TeamPerv mate. Each time I got to see that video, I kept thinking to myself “Oh lawd! The things I wanna do to you!….the things I would so love to show you!…if only I could just have 5 minutes with you ehn??? What I will so do ehn??? MEHHNNN!!!”

Anyway, like I said before, Ultra-Famzing took place one memorable day like that and trust me; neither of us saw shit coming…..*shrugs*…..Such is life I guess….HAHAHAHA!!!

On the Saturday before Christmas, I visited Shoprite in Ikeja to pick up some bottles of rose wine and a carton of canned Legend Extra Stout, which I wanted to use for the Xmas celebration. The liquor section was just two rows away from the long payment desk where customers stood patiently in a line and waited to be attended to. I CAUGHT HER VIEW just then. I really don’t know what made me look around or how it happened but I saw her. YESSSS! I saw Yeni! I saw Yeni Alade standing on that same queue with her fully stocked pushcart waiting for her turn. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE I TELL YA!

I gazed in her direction to see if she had some bodyguards or aides with her but saw none. I then fixed my eyes on her from where I was and understood why. She tried so hard to conceal her identity in a nice disguise but she couldn’t fool me. No famous person can deceive a true fan of theirs you know? I still recognised her even with her wearing a blue scarf to hide both her hair and face plus dark shades to shield her eyes from public recognition. What gave her away however was the T-shirt she had on and of course, her sexy physique. You see, I had watched her latest video a million times to know what she looked like in real life and I knew I could recognise that sexy body frame of hers ANYWHERE. I’ll admit though that what made it easier for me was that she had on one of those Tees which she wore in that lovely video of hers; a black tight-fitting top with a gold-colour inscription saying “Effyzzie Baby”.

Mayne, you can’t possibly believe how dumbfounded I was seeing my ‘Ghen-Ghen’ crush live and in person. I gently put down the carton of Legend Stout which I had already picked and ogled my dearest Yeni. It was when I saw her approach the counter to pay for her product selections that I knew I had to act fast. She would be leaving soon and I would have to contend with fighting for her attention on Twitter again for only God knows how long.

“Hey…Bros, make I borrow your coat abeg.” I whispered to one of the row assistants who passed by me and tried to arrange some cans of beer on a shelf.

“Ehn? Sorry?” the young man seemed taken aback.

I quickly took out my wallet, counted N2,000 and offered it to him. “Bros, abeg make I borrow your coat small. I wan quickly use am do something. I nor go tey abeg.” I pleaded.

The dude stared at me with fear and uncertainty written all over his face. He then stared at the money and said “Ah! Bros, I nor go fit give you my coat o! You wan make I lose my job?”

“You no go lose your job naa! I just wan sharply wear am follow one customer talk and I wan pose as staff. She nor go follow me yarn unless she see me for staff cloth, ABEG!” I pleaded again, this time, taking out two more N1000 notes from my wallet to make my offer N4000.

This guy studied me hard and sized me up; looking at me from head to toe and burying a stare in my eyeballs for a few seconds before taking off his coat. I snatched it from him as he also accepted the money and said “Abeg bros, you go do quick abeg o! Make you nor koba me!” and dashed towards the payment section; struggling to put on the green coat as I ran.

Yeni had just finished paying up and had her bags packed for her when I rushed to stand near a door close to the exit point that carried the sign ‘Store Room, Staff Only’. As she approached me to make her exit, I put up a hand to stop her.

“Good morning ma’am. Sorry to trouble you but would you be so kind to come with me for a quick bag check? It’s a regular procedure here and I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

Mayne, you should have seen the astonishment and shock on my girl’s face. She looked so confused I almost gave myself away by laughing. I managed to maintain a straight face though and didn’t blow my cover.

“Excuse me! Have I done anything wrong?” she asked with genuine concern. Her words were so softly-spoken and calming that it felt like she was singing instead of speaking.

“Not at all ma’am. Like I said, it’s a random but regular procedure which we carry out here. It won’t take much of your time I promise”. I guess my last few words worked like a charm because my dearest sexy Yeni hesitated for a moment, shrugged and said “Oh what the hell then! Okay, let’s go and do this quickly please! Got other stuff to do today okay?”

I nodded in agreement and immediately became excited. Her “Let’s go and do this quickly please” came off so sensual and so seductive that I wondered if she had a clue as to what I wanted with her. Anyway, I told her “This way please!” and led her into the ‘Store Room, Staff Only’ door, while thinking of how to turn her “Quickly” into a “Quickie”….lolz.

Once inside, Yeni was in for a big surprise. After successfully bolting the door from the inside, I stopped for a minute to visually appreciate my music idol whom I would be ravishing in a moment. Yeni had no idea whatsoever and the minute she folded her arms across her chest and opened her small painted mouth to say “So??? Shall we??? I don’t have all day!”, I RUSHED AT HER! Oh yes! I LITERALLY RUSHED AT HER LIKE how a monkey would rush at a banana; only that this time, I was the monkey and she; DA BANANA!

“WHAT IS THIS? JESUS CHRIST! HOW DARE YOU!!! STOP IT!!!” Yeni yelled at me as I struggled with her; forcefully planting wet kisses all over her neck and tried to kiss her red, sweet and soft-looking lips. I ignored her complaint and took control of those lips of hers as I pressed mine against them for a French kiss while my hands kept themselves busy with her titties and her soft round bumbum.

Yeni somehow found a way to land a hot slap across my left cheek and that dazed me for a few seconds. Hand on cheek, I gazed hard at the person whom I had just forcefully kissed, smiled and thought to myself… “Hmmm…..Gurl, ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT???”

“ARE YOU OKAY? IS THIS THE RANDOM ROUTINE CHECK YOU BROUGHT ME HERE FOR???” she quizzed me with fiery eyes and a deep frown. I smiled at her in my usual perverted manner and sang in response………………………

You know I like you
I’ve got no crush like you
Baby tin fe DO….Tin fe fe….Tin fe DO O!

You know I like you
And I want to DO you
You’re a baby tin fe DO…Tin fe fe….Tin fe DO O!

You had me from the moment I met you
Every song from you feels like Paradise
Make I be your actor o!......BEN 10
Sunmo bi make I lick you o!.....EHEN!
Dis lust na action o!......GHEN-GHEN!.....GHEN-GHEN!....GHEN-GHEN!

Girl you know I like you….Tin fe DO…..Tin fe DO
I’ll place no cunt above you…..Tin fe DO…..Tin fe DO
I swear I’m thirsty for you…..Tin fe DO….Tin fe DO
I go lick your cunt TILL THE END OOOoooooo!!!


Once I was done singing, Yeni’s face suddenly transformed from looking angry and irritated to looking seriously surprised and unsure.

“Wait, wait!....Just wait!....I feel like I know you from somewhere. Gosh! *shaking her head*….Are you….are you….???”

“Yeah baby! I’m @Peniscillin on Twitter. HELLOOooooo!” I quipped and rushed at her again; this time, unbuckling her denim pants with aggression and forcing them to her feet.

Yeni was still baffled “Wait!...Wait!…but how did you……….&^%$£%.” she couldn’t finish her sentence because by now, I was already on my knees and had parted both her fresh legs and her yellow underwear to one side with my fingers to position my tongue on her clitoris. “Hmmnnn…..NICE!!!” I said as I took a whiff of her scent and gave her my first lick.

Yeni whimpered as I tongued her and nibbled on her clit. “Gosh!....Oh shit!....Oh shit!...Oh shit!” was all she could actually mutter as I stroked her clit with my tongue and teased her pink flesh with every flick of it. Her cunt tasted like avocado pear and the juice it secreted took me straight to Cloud 9. Yeni was beautiful down there…..So sexy and sooooo beautiful.

My crush didn’t argue nor struggle anymore as I continued flicking my soft piece of muscular cavity against her clitoris and inside her delightful opening. I squeezed more cunt juice out of her each time I buried and stretched my tongue deep inside her pussy and her moans were truly musical. I knew she was enjoying it and I was happy I finally got the opportunity to give my celeb-crush some good cunnilingus.

Apparently, Yeni began enjoying the head so much that she found a way to raise one leg and rest it on my shoulder as she palmed my head against her V-Section. I didn’t mind. Instead, I regarded that as some encouragement and set out to impress my crush further. I took my tongue out of her sweet wet pussy and looked up at her. Oh she was so pretty! She made me giggle by covering her face in shame as she said “Don’t stop yet nau!” and I obliged her. First, I studied her pussy more carefully as if searching for some hidden element. Next, I used two fingers to part open her pussy lips and I dug my mouth in there again; but this time, taking great care to pay more attention to that little piece of flesh underneath her clit with my tongue. I licked softly and teased it with the tip of my tongue and Yeni pressed my face further into her crotch. “Oh Gosh!...Oh Gosh!...OH GOSH!!!!” she exclaimed as I further nibbled lightly on that piece of flesh and wasted my tongue on its surrounding environment. I thoroughly wanted to dry-clean her pussy but the sexy fluid she kept secreting just wouldn’t let me.

It was when I began switching between licking her clit and dipping my tongue into her sexy wetness at a fast pace that Yeni could take no more and involuntary chose to act like a baby. Heaving three times, Yeni squeezed my face against her pussy so much that I feared I would choke and die while she squealed like a child. I can never EVER forget that pleasant squeal of ecstasy though. It still rings in my head every night when I close my eyes to sleep.

So, that was how my crush came o! She came hard while she squealed and she bathed my face with thick, slimy cum. The taste wasn’t bad so I lapped it all up.

When I got up, Yeni stared hard into my eyes and pulled me closer to her. She then landed me another hot slap saying “This is for the rude inconvenience” before kissing me deeply; giving me a Frenchie and saying “This is for the sweet pleasure too.” Next thing you know, Yeni breaks into her own song but twists her lyrics also………………..

Boy you know I like you
I was just doing shakara for you
Baby tin fe fe….Tin fe fe…..TIN FE FE!

I swear I like you
Cos you licked me real good
You’re a darling tin fe fe….Tin fe fe…..TIN FE FE!

You got me from the moment I met you
You had me floating in Paradise
You can be my actor o!......BEN 10
Anytime you fit lick me o!.....EHEN!
Dis love na action o!......GHEN-GHEN!.....GHEN-GHEN!....GHEN-GHEN!

Boy you know I like you….Tin fe fe…..Tin fe fe!
I’ll place no one above you…..Tin fe fe…..Tin fe fe!
I swear I’m thirsty for you…..Tin fe fe….Tin fe fe!
Na me and you TILL THE END OOOoooooo!!!


Yeni and I ended up kissing some more and leaving Shoprite together; HAND IN HAND!......... *in Wizkid’s voice*….IYAHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!

Yours truly,
That Bloody Pervert