Stubborn Pussy

Me: Baby, why dis your toto nor wan gree wet again nau?? *parts pussy lips open with two fingers and spits inside*

Baby: Sweetheart, I nor know o! Dis my toto don tire me sef. Small time, e go gree soak...Other time, e go just dry like Sahara desert. You kuku remember say, I bin wet well last week nau!

Me: Ehn, but dat one na last week nau! Shey na only once a week we go dey fuck ni??? Dis your toto na real Made in China. E too dey malfunction...*parts pussy lips again, flinging thick kelebe inside this time around*

Baby: Honey, nor provoke nau! Me sef wan fuck nau! See me dey try make myself wet sef...*spits on palm and rubs on clitoris*... I nor just fit let you dip dat your big prick inside like dat. I nor want make you tear me for inside abeg.

Me: You nor wan make I tear you...You nor wan make I bruise you abi? Look! You beta wet nau-nau o! You see say Mr. P don already stand. Im must fuck whether you like am or not.

Baby: *pours more spit into vagina*... Baby nor worry ehn? You go fuck. I go soon wet.

Me: Abi make we go put your yansh under running tap??? Me, I wan make you wet o!

Baby: Boo, nor worry nau! Sebi na me? I go soon wet.

Me: *Splashes a handful of spit on vagina*... Pussy, I command you now! Be wet!...Be WET!...BE WET I COMMAND YOU!!!

(Vagina suddenly becomes wet; soaked and then begins to erupt water like a volcano)

Baby: Oh honey you are annointed! See how my toto don overwet now. WOW!

Me: Ehn, I don hear. Oya lie down make I climb you like Kilmanjaro.

Baby: Okay but wey your Gold Circle? Make you wear am first abeg. Me neva ready to born Junior.

Me: Ehn, I dey come. *searches wallet...searches left pocket...right pocket..back pockets... NO CONDOM! Ah! baby, e be like say condom don finish o! No worry, I nor go come inside ehn?

Baby: EHN!!! You say??? Abeg-abeg! I nor want nonsense. Run go buy from dem Iya Malik shop.

Me: But baby, Mr. P go don sleep by the time wey I go come back nau! Make I just do small.

Baby: Small ko..Plenty ni! Abeg go run buy condom jare! No worry, if Mr. P sleep, we go wait till im wake up back.

Me: Wey dis your yeye toto for don dry up again abi?? You nor try o! Abeg nau! Make we do small. I go buy packet next time.

Baby: Ah! No joor! I nor gree. Go buy condom. You nor fit fuck me without condom abeg. Me I nor want wahala.

Me: CHAI!! See me see wahala now. After I don suffer to make her stronghead toto wet, she nor wan gree me fuck. Wetin I wan do now?? Mr. P don charge already. *frowns*

Baby: Honey, why you kon dey frown nau? I say make you run go buy Gold Circle, make I fuck you beta. You kon siddon here dey frown. My toto go dry back o! Abi you nor wan fuck again???

Me: *remembers BoyzIIMen and breaks into a song*......

Me don't wanna fuck anymore!

Me don't even know what we're arguing about

I feel like you don't love me no more

To say without no rubber, ma prick won't go inside

Some couples work things out... But it's like you are unwilling to CHAAANNGGEEE!

So let's wait till your water runs dry

We might watch my own sperm pass us by

Let's just wait till your water runs DRY

You'd make the greatest mistake of your life

DON'T DO IT BABY!

Yours truly,

Debola, That Bloody Pervert

Long Live #TeamPerv !!!

(Bless you @TweetOracle)