(Soliloquising) OOOooooohh!!! *rubs tummy while groaning*……Na wa o! Hunger AGAIN??? Chai!!! *rubs tummy some more*. Who even encouraged me to take that multivitamin sef? Na which kain yawa be dis naa?....ehn??...After I bin don chop just one hour earlier???...*shakes head*….I yaff enterrit o!
Hey you? How you dey naa? Have I told you Happy New Year yet? If not Happy New Year o! You’re greeting me back abi? Ehn, thank you jare but that is not my problem right now. *rubs tummy again*…..Na wa o! And na only me dey dis house now. I don’t know how to cook and I’m already hungry again. YOU SEE MY LIFE??? *shakes head*.
My younger brother who helped make concoction macaroni for me an hour ago has left me for his girlfriend’s place and I don’t know what to do now. Chai! Why didn’t I listen to mummy when she always advised that I stay with her in the kitchen while she cooked? Common white rice or yam, I cannot boil now…..*shakes head*
And the most painful part is that we no longer have a housemaid whom I could have ordered to prepare a meal for me. Mummy sacked her last week and sent her packing to Calabar where she came from. Why??? You’re asking me abi??? Hehehe……I WEE TELL YOU!!!
You see, once upon a time we had a housegirl whom mummy brought from Calabar in Cross River State. She had just clocked 18 when she joined our family through her aunt whom mummy had benignly treated for typhoid fever. I guess mummy had expressed her need for a househelp who could help cook and make the house tidy since all her four ‘soldiers’ were lazy boys. I also guess her patient took pity on her and decided to assist by traveling to her home-state and fetching one of her young nieces for her nurse’s use. What this aunty didn’t know however was that amongst mummy’s soldiers was an able-bodied perverted lieutenant named TBP…..lolz.
Now, this housegirl whom we called Ekaette was indeed a fine young girl. She was facially pretty and well endowed on the chest. Though I didn’t quite appreciate the fact that she was short and had a flat bumbum, I won’t lie sha……she was very hardworking.
Now, I bet you’re wondering if I’m sick or unwell for describing Ekaette in such a sexual manner. Well, you kuku already know me naa! Me wey be say I no dey ever take eye see skirt. You know naa! I’M A BLOODY PERV YO!.....Lolz.
Being totally all boys in the house (except for mummy of course), it was such a pleasure having Ekaette around to add some feminine spice to our home. That bitch sure cooked and cleaned good and was also obedient as fuck. She was such a bush girl; couldn’t speak proper English and hardly knew anything, so she did just as she was told and never bothered to raise an eyebrow at any command or request. *shakes head*…..such a naive bitch I tell ya!.....*shakes head*.
None of my brothers ever paid particular attention to Ekaette. I was the only one who stared at her chest while she dusted and I was the only one who ogled her bosom whilst she served our food. But hey!....don’t get it twisted o! I am damn sure I am not the only pervert in my family. I guess it’s just that while my brothers probably saw Ekaette as a young and naïve girl, I chose to regard her as potential lay….afterall, girl wey clock 18 no be small pikin again naa!....SEBI????.....lolz
*remembers something and chuckles*…………..Now you see Ekaette ehn? She was such a bush geh! A very bush geh! Infact ehn, na OVERBUSH dey worry am sef…..lolz. Everything around the house seemed like magic to her and she never could hide her amazement over certain things. The gas cooker, electric stove, generating set, vacuum-cleaner, microwave oven and lots more always made her feel like she was seeing and touching heavenly items, but the best part….the best part….wait for it…..the best part was the TELEVISION SET!!!
Hahahahaha!!!........Ekaette was such an ignoramus over the TV in the living room. She never failed to stare at it and leave her mouth agape in excitement whenever it was turned on. Images of people; the things they did and places shown must have seemed like magic to her. I know this because unlike my brothers, I always studied her. Well actually, more like stare at her big jugs first before observing her all round…..lolz.
It was quite unfortunate though that Ekaette never really got to watch much of TV while with us. It wasn’t ika (intentional wickedness) or anything o! It was simply that while mum and dad were away at work during the day, the TV remained off because I was always on my mini laptop in my room and my brothers were more often than not in school. The only few times she actually got to see it work was during the evenings when both mum and dad were back home and their ‘four soldiers’ were with them in the living room. Though Ekaette actually spent more time in the kitchen during this period, she did steal some brief moments while serving us dinner and taking further instructions from both dad and mum to stand and stare at our big plasma screen with wide eyes and marvel at the sound and images that came from it. I bet those moments had her AWESTRUCK……lolz.
Now one fateful day and some months into her stay with us, I was alone in the house with Ekaette. I was actually in the living-room this time around and was typing away on my lappy’s keyboard while working on a new blogpost when my tummy rumbled. I ignored the sharp discomfort and continued hitting keys again with my fingers when the second rumble came. This time, the rumble came hard and with some pain and I immediately realised my stomach was sending me a message – IT NEEDED FOOD.
Because I am lazy as fuck and highly incapable of preparing my own meals, I resorted to doing the obvious………………………….
“Ekaette!......EKAETTE!!!”
“SIR!......I DEY COME! And she came running out, having nothing on but A TOWEL!
I must confess that I got really excited and aroused seeing her like that. She looked so sexy in that local but appealing body frame of hers and she looked like the average bathroom model. I glanced at her exposed neck and shoulders first before my eyes moved on over to her equally exposed arms and legs. It was when those perverted eyes got to her bulbous, protuberant and bulging bosom that they halted and did full stop. Her breasts weren’t fully covered and their top flesh looked full and ripe. My mouth watered just then and Mr. P stirred, saying “Hello”. Those filthy eyes of mine remain fixated there while I fought hard to regain consciousness and continue speaking.
“Sir, I don come…*doing the curtsy*…wetin sir?” she asked innocently.
“Er….sorry o! I nor know say na only towel you tie.” I tried to sound as apologetic as possible.
“Ah! Sir, no problem o!”…*curtsying again*…I just wash your brother cloth finish so I say make I baff. You need anything?”
“Em….yes dear. I dey hungry. I go like chop.” I replied, my eyes never leaving her chest.
“Okay sir. Na wetin you want make I put for fire?” she asked curtsying again….*shakes head*.
“Er…well….uhn! Now na dat one be the problem o! I nor even know wetin I go like chop sef.”
“Ehen? Ehn sir, shey make I do beans?” she asked smiling.
“Er….NO!”
“Make I make eba for you?”
“Eba ke? NAH!”
“Semo?”
“Ahn-ahn! NO!”
“Ah!” she seemed a bit nervous now and I felt she was desperate to please me. “Em…em…shey you want make I cook dat tin wey dem show for TV for night?”
“Huh? Na which one be dat one?” I asked with genuine curiosity.
Ekaette got excited at that question and instantly became animated. “Sir, na that one for TV nau wey dem day sing “Bamba lala!….Bamba LALA!”
I laughed hard for it hit me that she was singing the catchy and popular Honeywell Noodles TV/Radio jingle. I was amused now and decided to exploit her for more amusement. “Oh! You mean, Tasty and Delicious….Nourishing and exciting….???” I sang, waiting for her humourous response.
“BAMBA LALA!.....BAMBA LALA!!!” she jumped and shouted gleefully but that was when things took a different turn. As she landed, her towel loosened and her breasts suddenly became fully exposed to my viewing pleasure. Ashamed, she quickly held on to the piece of cotton and struggled to wrap up herself properly but I stopped her.
“Wait…Wait dear!....Lemme see! I got up quickly and pulled off the towel before cupping her big fresh titties. They felt like sponge-cake and they felt nice to the touch. Ekaette became astonished and shy and tried to pull away but I didn’t let her. “Broda, broda…AH!” she exclaimed.
“Wait nau! Relax, make I feel dem small naa!” I said to her as I began caressing and squeezing her sexy bobbielicious boobies.
“Ah!...Broda! Broda, AH!” she kept saying as I had my way with her chest.
“Ekaette wait nau! You nor know say I don already sabi wetin I go like chop now?” I informed her while I had by now, deployed my hungry mouth to the boobs and sucked on them like there was no tomorrow. The sucking was terribly delightful I tell ya!....lolz
“Ah! Broda, oya tell me nau, make I enter kitchen for you.”
“No need to enter kitchen you hear? Na the honey for your Honeywell me go like chop” I said with a mischievous grin.
“Ah! Broda, I nor get any honey for my bodi o!” she lamented while my buccal cavity still did justice to her sweet bosom.
I took my mouth off her titties for a moment to enable me reply her with an appropriate song………………………..
You’ve got a Honeywell……come taste my hard noodle
BAMBA LALA……BAMBA LALA!
It’s tasty and delicious…..nourishing and exciting
BAMBA LALA…….BAMBA LALA!
Release your well to me…..come and enjoy it
Would you be surprised if I told you that Ekaette responded now with her own “BAMBA LALA!....BAMBA LALA!”??? Well, she did o…..so naively and that was how I got to fuck her.
We began our act of fuckery with me still sucking on her big, firm luscious boobs before reaching for the V on her crotch and finding her clitoris to stroke it. At this, Ekaette lost all inhibition and eased up on me as she moaned in a local voice – “Yiiiisshhhhh….Ooooosshhhh….Aaaarrrssshhhhhh”. Ordinarily, I would have been put off by this but I guess her boobies were the encouraging factor/variable.
Next, I fingered her pussy, which had already become very wet and I did it fast and furiously till that pussy started leaking off some fluid unto the floor. Now I bet you’re thinking, “Shey at 18 she nor be virgin ni???” Well, me sef tire for the matter o! But I guess, unto Calabar levels naa, person go don sample am for her village….lolz. Anyways, I think my super-fingering sort of made her legs suddenly go weak sha because she held on to me like she couldn’t stand on her own two feet no more so I gently placed her down on the couch.
In a flash, I was completely naked just like Ekaette and I proceeded to do some more justice to her pussy and fuck her silly. I stuck an already stiff Mr. P into it and humped away on her like a bunny. Mayne, I won’t lie, that pussy was tight and sweet as fuck and for a very brief moment, I was tempted to believe local or bush pussy remained the sweetest in the continent of Africa….*smh at myself*.
Anyway, I continued pounding and beating up Ekaette’s pussy until we both came. Somehow, I feel like I even gave that bitch her first orgasm sef….lolz. I helped her condition shey???
After our raw couchy-sex, I dismissed Ekaette and ordered her to prepare some noodles for me. This, she did with glee because she put some extra pepper and crayfish just the way I like it and she even added a big piece of turkey from the pot to my enjoyment. HAHA!!!
Trouble however sprung up later that night when mummy got home. I mean, I had always known that Ekaette was naïve but I didn’t expect her to be that naïve and close to stupidity. She immediately gave me away when the family was complete in the living room and mummy summoned her to ask what she had eaten for lunch. In her response, Ekaette sang like…..em…I wouldn’t say a little bird but a little bitch.
Mummy, broda e too good o!.....E TOO GOOD!
Broda e too much o!.....E TOO MUCH!
E give me PRICKDOMIE……E TOO GOOD!
E give me PRICKDOMIE……E TOO MUCH!
Im PRICKDOMIE sweet well-well!......E TOO GOOD!
Im PRICKDOMIE good well-well!.......E TOO GOOD!
I’m sure you already know how my mum responded to Ekaette’s feedback.
Yours truly,
That Bloody Pervert
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