1,2 - Lemme Mess With You!

Whatzaaaap??? Remember me? It's me, That Bloody Pervert aka TBP. I need to share my story on how my soul became so perverted, I fear that I may never have normal thoughts again. You ready? LET'S DO THIS!

Just so that you know, I feel bad knowing that all I ever do or talk about is sex. What particularly worries me is the fact that I tend to make unsexual happenings around me seem sexual and sexual happenings even more sexual with a touch of humour sometimes.

I recall I discovered my sinful talent way back in Primary school. Surprised shey? I actually didn't start school early so I was the oldest in my class. By nature, I was very mischievous, hard-headed and very troublesome. Add all these together and you just can imagine how corrupt I was back then.

Anyway, like I said, my fucked-up talent found me in Primary school. My teacher, at the time, was always in the habit of making us practise School Rhymes before going home. Not that I had a problem with Rhymes....don't get it twisted. My problem was that I got bored quickly of repeating the same words over and over again. It was this boredom of mine that succeeded in getting my mind to work......in the ways of nothing but pure mischief.

So..one day in school, it was time to go home and my annoying teacher (as usual) asked us to recite Jack and Jill. This then happened......................

ALL PUPILS: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack ...blah blah blah! (You already know how that shit goes right?)

ME: *Raises hand*

TEACHER: Yes? You have a question?

ME: Yes Ma. What if something else happened between Jack and Jill on that very hill?

TEACHER: Huh? *Scratches chin* How do you mean?

ME: Well, I know for sure that Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. But what if WHEN JACK FELL DOWN, JILL FELL ON HIS COCK AND KIDS CAME ROLLING AFTER???

TEACHER: Oh my gosh! Where the hell did you get that rubbish from?

ME: Er....The same place I found the REAL rhymes for the 1,2 - Buckle my shoe crap you feed us with everyday ma.....*Grins mischievously*

TEACHER: *Frowns*...Look here young man, you need to watch your mouth. Anyway, let's have your own version of that one. C'mon...Quickly!

ME: *Stands up*.... 1,2 - A dick for you. 3,4 - Your knees on the floor. 5,6 - Suck and spit. 7,8 - The head is great. 9,10 - I tell my men.

TEACHER: *Gets into a fit*...What the f***. You are going to get some special time-out boy!

ME: But why ma? I mean, it's not like I said "1,2 - I'm gonna fuck you. 3,4 - Hard on the floor. 5,6 - First suck this dick. 7,8 - In your arse straight. 9,10 - I cum in 10.

TEACHER: *Faints.... Students panic...Pandemonium ensues*

ME: *Packs bags and goes home*