*Singing*….All I do is win win WIN, no matter what
Now get on your knees bitch, I’ma need you to suck
And everytime I step up in da building, I wanna see ma COCK GO UP!
And your face down!….AND YOUR LIPS DOWN!...AND YOUR TONGUE DOWN!!
UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN!
‘Cos all I do is WIN…WIN…WIN !!!
So if you ain’t gon’ be sucking this dick good, I suggest you GERROUT !!!
Lolz….Wasup you? I’m not well sebi? Lolz…I know o! I’m sure you already know that’s my ‘Raw Remix’ of DJ Khaled’s - All I Do Is Win. I’m dedicating those lyrics up there (sang by T-Pain) to ma haters. Yes o! My BLOODY HATERS who keep hating on That Bloody Pervert and who refuse to understand that there is a BIG DISTINCTION between both identities of a WRITER and a BLOGGER.
For the record, I’ve never EVER likened nor described my highly perverted self as a writer. Why would I be so dumb to compare my neophyte and fledgling self to well-established veteran folks??? ….*sigh* Incase you didn’t fucking know, I possess a good background in Mass communication and I truly respect Writing as a professional field. All I do here (if you’re the ignorant type) is simply pour out my sick, sexual thoughts on this small piece of the humongous blogosphere, just the way I like. I do not and WILL NOT obey the rules of good/proper/formal writing because I need to express myself in the best fucking way that I can. Still yet, I will not insult Writing as an art. GBAM !!!
Anyway, anyway, this post is not entirely dedicated to them haters you know? OH NO! You know I’ve always got better and more interesting things to say here, right??? Lolz…………
Now….a quick question for ya. Do you believe pussies can smell real bad? I mean.. like fill up a room with some thick, sharp stench that choke you and make you wanna puke? You do huh? Well, I guess you’ve probably encountered one or you probably own one…..HAHA!!!
Truth be told though, I never used to believe that pussies could stink. I had always believed rather, that just like dicks, they only carried a scent. You know? The exact kind of scent you get when you dip one hand into your boxers to rub/scratch your balls and take a good whiff of it. Ya feel me? Yeah!
Infact, I swear my whole crew back in the university can remember how I always argued for and defended vaginas; protecting both their ego and image till my very last utterance. Not any more though ‘cos some bitch came and fucked it all up. I swear!
This bitch huh? This bitch whom I met through my younger brother amazed me. She fucking stunned me when I tried to go ‘Perverted Mode’ on her skinny ass and I had to switch modes back and understand indeed that pussies can truly smell the fuck AWFUL. As a matter of fact, now that I remember how I used to argue so much back in school, I’M TRULY SORRY GUYS! I’m eating my words back right now and I’m not ashamed to finally admit that you guys were indeed right.
In any case, I’m so glad that ever since this ‘Karamotu geh’ incident, I’ve never been unfortunate ever again to come across another stinking pussy. Oh yeah! I think we can call this bitch ‘Stinky Puss’ right? Cool huh? SWEET !!! Lolz………….
So,… as the story goes, I met Stinky Puss one day like that through my brother’s girlfriend. “My chick will be visiting today and since dad won’t be home this weekend, she’ll be spending the night.” My bro said to me amidst a grin. I couldn’t help but envy him ‘cos I had just recently parted ways with my hoe-ish girlfriend at the time. His words couldn’t help but make me want to screw someone that night so badly so I said to him “Mayne, na you be boss o! Na only you wan enjoy this weekend abi? Make she carry one of her fine friends come nau, so that equation go balance?” flashing him my most sarcastic smile.
“Ehen? So you want some company for the night ehn? Well, I dunno if she has naughty friends but I’ll ask her if that would be possible.”
“Correct bro! You get mouth! Oya take my phone make you no too burn your credit naa.” I said next, handing out my Sony Ericsson Xperia 10i to encourage him.
“Hahahaha!!! Egbon, na wa o! This is serious o! You sha want to ‘put it’ for somebody tonight. Don’t bother sha, I’ve got enough airtime here.” He responded waving and flaunting his own Blackberry Bold 6.
“Eid-okay o! No P!” I said before giggling. My bro left me for a while and then came back later with some good news. “Mehn, I can’t believe your luck o! My chick said one of her roommates is more than willing to tag along and come over.”
“Bro…best believe it’s not luck. Don’t you know those RUN girls are always horny as fuck in school? What do you expect of chicks who are not allowed to hold hands with boys let alone fuck them? Of course somebody had to be game. Infact I recommend you prepare well for tonight yo!. Your girl would have been soooo sex starved by now”. My bro just laughed hard and left me again, shaking his head this time though. I bet he must have been thinking “Dis my brother sef ehn??? CHAI!!!”.
Six hours later, our guests arrived….my bro’s chick and her companion. When I saw this bitch, my first thought was “Wow!”. I mean, Stinky Puss was fine as fuck with her cream fair skin and long foreign hair. She flashed some white teeth at me as she said her “Hi” and I concluded she was prettier than my brother’s smoking-hot girlfriend of one and a half years.
Stinky Puss also proved to have a good sense of humour as unnecessary formal introductions were made, by her school buddy anyway. “Em…This is my boyfriend’s older brother she informed her friend while pointing at me and whilst I rubbed my palms together in earnest at the juicy package standing in front of me and waiting to be devoured.
“Oh! So this is the kind gentleman who’ll be helping me release some of the academic tension suffered in school shey?” she said facing me now with her enchanting smile. “Sweet! You’re handsome too. My name is Karamot…*extending a well-toned hand for a shake*…..Nice to meet you”. She concluded that statement with a killer-smile and I felt Mr. P suddenly come alive.
“Oh that’s such a lovely name!” I said back, even though I didn’t really like her name.....lolz. “You’re pretty too and em…well, I’ll definitely be relieving you of some good tension…if you’ll be a good school girl that is….” I added with a sheepish grin that clearly sent the message of lust.
“Oh I’m always a good school girl. I get even more obedient when tipsy, ya know?”
“Ooooh!” I moaned like a bitch. “Is that so?? SWEET! LET’S GO DRINKING THEN!! DRINKS ON ME!!!” I bellowed as I showed-off a little.
I sensed my brother wanted to resist my offer but seeing the willingness in his girlfriend’s eyes and realising it was already 6:35pm, he obliged. Off then we went in dad’s Kia Sorento blasting Swizz Beatz’ and Diddy Dirty Money’s – Ass on the Floor.
At El-Devino’s we all had a great time with alcohol and grilled fish. My bro and I had our usual stout while them gurls drank Smirnoff Ice. During our time there, we also shared a fairly long chit-chat on school life in RUN which included friendly scoffs and jeers.
Hmmnn……GHEN-GHEN! We left the pub and arrived home at about 9:30pm and because my brother was just as wasted as his woman, they both declined in spending some time with us in the living room. He just whisked the poor thing away to his room for what I assumed was an opportunity to ‘put his stout to work’. Just as soon as he had carried her away from our sight and after we had thrown some good jibes at them, I looked Stinky Puss stiff in the eyes and asked her “So….how about we go in and do something about that tension of yours?”. She chuckled hard on the couch, threw one arm across my neck and exclaimed “Yay! It’s about time we did that, isn’t it?”. “Yeah” came my reply and I imitated my bro by picking her up and carrying her away in my arms while asking God to bless the white man who discovered alcohol…..lolz
Once inside my room, Stinky Puss turned into a freak. No sooner had I turned on some music to spice up the impending fuckery than she transformed into something else. I mean, I’ve always known that music could enliven the soul but trust me, with Stinky Puss, it wasn’t just music….alcohol had far taken its toll in her system.
The jam blasting at the time was DMX’s ‘Get it on da floor’ and immediately it came on, Stinky Puss started hopping and bopping her head to the song’s heavy beat. She even went crazy and started pretending to be DMX to begin spitting……………
We don’t give a what! What!
We don’t give a what! What!
Get it on the floor..BITCH!...Get it on the floor……C’MON!!!
Get it on the floor…WHAT…Get it on the floor!
Whilst she rapped, Stinky Puss also did the ‘Crip Walk’. Though I was amused watching her throw her legs about in a funny and uncoordinated manner, I knew she would have done better if she had been sober. Still though, I thought she was sexy doing whatever crazy dance moves that she was doing. As soon as the jam got to the part where Swizz Beatz began spitting his own bars, Stinky Puss transformed again, into a seductress this time around. She made for me, tugging hard at my T.shirt and began spitting again………….
Don’t start nothing…there’s gon’ be nothing
Don’t start nothing…there’s gon’ be nothing
You wanna start something?....There’s gon’ be something
You wanna start something?....There’s gon’ be something
Following the anticipated scream that came right after these bars, Stinky Puss, in a flash, pressed her soft lips hard against mine for a few seconds before violently pushing me onto the bed. She grinned while I savoured the funky taste of stale alcohol and saliva from her mouth and started getting naked. She took off each clothing item on her very sexy-looking and curvaceous body slowly and seductively and I simply laid there…on the bed….watching and waiting WITH MR. PENISCILLIN ALREADY ROCK HARD AND READY TO GO but savouring every moment while remaining anxious and eager to catch a glimpse of her bare moist pussy and do wonderful things to it.
But alas! Stinky Puss ‘fell’ ma hand. As in, she disappointed me BIG TIME! I really can’t say I’m sure what went wrong with her ‘cos for such a great and pleasant body, I never expected what came next.
The exact moment that Stinky Puss took the very last detail; her panty; off, something awkward…something which I had never ever experienced, not even for once in my entire adult and sexually-active life, happened.
It was like someone from nowhere just snuck-in and dumped a week-old sack of dead fish and left it there for us to suffer. I mean, the whole room was filled with a fucking hard-core stench mayne! A stench that could even be likened to that of a dead rat….okay no! Lemme just stick with dead fish…*straight face*
DAMN! This bitch was stinking mayne! One could never have expected that from a babe who looked so clean and fresh…with soft, fresh and fair skin and with long foreign hair. I mean, one couldn’t have seen a bad, cheap and stinky smell ever coming from a sophisticated, hot and expensive-looking hottie.
Stinky Puss caught me squeezing my face into a frown as I fought hard not to cover my nose and cause her some embarrassment.
“I’m smelling shey???” those were her exact words, I swear!
“So you know?” came my response while raising an eyebrow of suspicion.
“Yeah..*covering her own nose now*…shit gets like this sometimes. I think it’s the toilet infection from school again. You can still have me though. You have a condom right? We can still fuck. You game?
WHAT THA FUCK!!! rang out loud in my head immediately. Was this bitch still requesting sex when her pussy stank so bad??? How could I ever manage to squeeze my dick, which was already limp by now, into her smelly vagina. I wasn’t sure how best to respond to her question but the next old skool jam by Evelyn Champagne King which boomed from my deck’s speakers helped-out a great deal. As soon as the song came on, I quickly twisted the chorus and sang Stinky Puss my ‘Raw Remix’…………….
Gurl you’ve made my lust come down
Oooh you’ve made my cock come down
You’ve made it go all the way dooowwwnnnnnnn
Oooh you’ve made my cock…..COME DOWN !!!
Need I conclude this story??? I bet as fuck that you can do that all by yourself using your imagination…..lolz…..
PEACE !!!
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