Hey, wasup? Doing good huh? Cool. I was woken up this morning by a flatmate who blasted awfully loud music from his car. No beef or anything though. You very well know that I’m deep into music. Besides, I’m quite used to being woken up with loud music in my hostel but I guess this morning was quite different. Why? Because I was taken down memory lane with Tupac Shakur’s ‘Do for love’.
I decided to write this post with the song in mind, not just because I love the joint so much, but more because it reminded me of one hot, sexy celebrity blogger like that. Don’t worry, I’ma give you a brief background on her so you’d understand exactly what I’m talking about.
You see, this lovely celebrity blogger who is some sort of ‘Leader’ and who has a ‘Second’ is definitely a goddess. I found her in the blogosphere a few years ago by accident when I created my first blog entitled ‘Kiss-and-Tell Tales’. Not quite sure why I ended up deleting that but I guess ‘That Bloody Pervert’ is pretty much a perfect replacement.
Anyway, like I said, I found her when I had my first blog and tried to search for sex bloggers that I could follow so that I could learn a thing or two about writing good stories on sex. Google somehow led me straight to her blog with a particular post about anal sex. I must confess that I really relished that story about the opinions and attitudes of people towards that kind of raw, crude sex but was kinda disappointed when she confessed that she had never tried it herself. I was like “Gosh! For real? But anal sex is so, so cooool!”.
After reading that beautiful piece, I hit the ‘Follow-her-posts’ button. Even though I didn’t leave many comments on her blogposts, I made sure to read every subsequent story that featured on her blog. She was like my idol then and I somewhat worshipped her as my goddess of the blogosphere. All that has changed now because my new queen and goddess of the blogosphere is the one and only, blog-famous ‘Rated Erotic’. Mayne, believe me, that chick be a badass when it comes to telling sexual tales. WORD!!!
So, as I was ‘gisting’ you ehn, I kept on reading posts from this ‘Leader’ chick and would you fucking believe me if I told you that she was very instrumental to my getting my first paid job? I’m so fucking serious. She really is an angel. Imagine a celebrity blogger having millions of fans around the globe yet, still makes out time to help a needy fan despite a very busy schedule? By needy I ain’t talking about sex o! Your filthy mind sef! Chai!
I was a needy fan once and I wrote her asking for help in securing a spot at a renowned magazine publishing outfit when she reviewed one of its weekly stories and drew opinions from her readership on the topic. This ‘Leader’ I tell ya was so sweet and kind enough to forward me the name of a senior reporter there and asked me to contact him, saying I was from her. Can you fucking believe that? She didn’t even know me from Adam, yet she was so willing to assist one of her freaking many fans. Trust me, not many celebrities do stuff like that.
To cut the long story short, I eventually got a spot in that outfit after contacting her ‘contact’ and I worked there for a while before my dad threw me back in school. It’s all good though.
Now, the main reason for this particular post is this – While I still followed my former blog goddess, I was touched and saddened by her online confession. She regularly reminded her fans that she had never experienced an orgasm and greatly feared that she would never, ever get to know what being in ‘cloud 9’ really means before passing on to the great beyond. I tried to summon courage many a time to inform her that I could help her achieve that but many a time, I ended up losing my nerve.
“What if she recognised me as the dude she once helped and took offense? What if she got pissed at the thought of me, a mere fan wanting to stick his lowly prick in her celebrated vagina all in the name of trying to make her come? What if she thought that since she’s sampled a good number of cocks in the past, yet failed to cum, my own unknown cock would fail to make a difference?” *Sigh*
I’m still hopeful anyway that this old sex goddess of mine and I will meet someday and I’ll get to make her come. I want this so bad because I realise that a chick who has never experienced an orgasm will remain unenthusiastic about sex. Also, I’m fucking fed up of seeing her stare at crotches in almost all the pictures she’s taken with her male pals. I see her face in those pictures and I instantly read her thoughts – “Gosh! Is this the right dick I’m seeing?”
More importantly though, I wanna help this sweet lady because she was once wonderful to me and it is only proper to return the favour. I wish to prove to her that sex can truly be enjoyed and loved. I wish to change her perception about sex. I want her to have an explosive orgasm before she dies. I WANT HER TO FUCKING CUM!
So my dear ‘Leader’ I know you’re not yet married and I strongly believe you’re gonna get married to the first guy that makes you come. I therefore ask you this in the corrupted lyrics of Tupac’s song……
What you gon’ do?…..do for cum?
You’ve tried many dicks but you’ve not fucked enough
What you gon’ do?.......do for cuuuuuuuumm?
You’ve tried everything? Gurl you ain’t done enough.
Mtcheeeew
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