Dear Diary,
Welcome to my world; my blog and private life. I have decided to create you not just because I need to update this blog of mine frequently but because I also need someone to share my daily perverted thoughts and sexual experiences with. I need someone who will listen without questioning or judging me and someone who will remain with me till the day I hit six feet under. I reckon you fit the bill, SO THERE!
Dear Diary, you already know who I am and what I stand for so I’ll just go ahead and share with you. I feel very glad and relieved having finished the ‘Yori-Yori’ story. Mayne, that shit took longer than expected to complete but I’m glad it’s finally on here now. You know I’ve been very distracted lately right??? Yeah, you know! You know I had to change my residence and finding a suitable crib plus moving out wasn’t a bit easy. Anyway, I’m all fully settled now (I think) and I hope to find more free time to actually type my stories and thoughts as well as blog about them.
Speaking of my blogposts, Dear Diary please help me beg all #TeamPerv mates and friends of That Bloody Pervert o! I haven’t been in touch with them lately and I fear that they would be thinking that I’m now pompous and forming celeb for them. You kuku know every aspa what I’ve been going through lately, shey? You know I hardly have time to tweet as much as I used to due to that ‘thing’…..that thing that is still having me search for the true meaning of my existence here on earth…..*shaking my head*
Anyway, I still remain assured and positive that ‘e go beta’. Since my program is still on suspension at LCU and Splash FM refused to accept me, I must continue to have faith that one day, I will break bread with this blog of mine. I will make it as an infamous sex blogger. I don’t fucking care how long it takes so long as it does happen someday.
But talking about Splash now, chai! E pain me wella o! I truly had high hopes for that station. I concluded I would be taken since I am sure I did well in both the oral and written tests. I truly wanted a career in broadcasting but I am not sure I still want that anymore. Hmmnn…..Man proposes, God disposes. Maybe, I should just keep on blogging everyday till the publisher of an erotic magazine contacts me with a juicy contract and then I can ‘hammer’. Oh that would be so nice ‘cos there’s nothing I love more than writing about sex talk…...*perv grin*
I still recall how the interview went though. I arrived at the station looking dashing in T.Rex’s black blazer on my grey shirt and black pair of trousers. I was certain everyone noticed me when I walked into the waiting room not just because of my looks or my scent but because of my confidence. I acted like I had already gotten the job and as if confirming my optimism, one pretty female and fellow applicant instantly began ‘famzing’ with me. Such a pretty thing she was with her bright, fair skin tone, long legs and pointy chest. She had a white smile too and I paid her all the attention I could manage. I knew that if we were both taken; amongst the 11 others, she would be the first employee that I would fuck silly…NO DOUBT! I had some intuition that her punana would be tight as fuck when I eventually got to beat it. Anyway, I guess she’s lucky now. Afterall I didn’t get in….despite the interviewers showing genuine interest in my personal life, work experience and responses to their entertaining questions……*shaking my head*….and I still didn’t get the job. Fuck Splash mayne! I don’t give a fuck about her no more. She had just berra keep doing her thang and repping Ibadan. And I certainly wish her luck in competing with Beat 97.9 FM. Gonna be some tough shit I tell ya!
Truth is, apart from this pretty female applicant, whom I ‘famzed’ with, the other female employees didn’t seem sexually appealing to me. They were all either too fat, too short or wearing super-heavy make-up on that particular Friday. I recall that one of them messed up her gorgeous face with a big, fat, sagging pair of buttocks that made me shake my head for a good three minutes. I guess all that make-up was for the photo-shoot which they had just before I left the office. Tis all good though but I’m sure that if I was indeed accepted, none of them gurls would ever get to see, feel, lick or fuck Mr. P…THAT’S FOR SURE!
Hmmnnn……But now I’m thinking….Do you think Splash ran some underground check on me and discovered I am TBP? I’m now thinking is quite possible that they discovered I bear @Peniscillin on Twitter, where I talk about nothing but sex, sex, SEX! However, that shouldn’t be enough reason to disqualify me naa! HIAN!!! I ain’t quitting this blog for nobody I SWEAR! I’m gon’ remain TBP for LIFE!!!
Anyway, guess what happened to me this evening? *chuckle*…I’ll tell you. You know Nigeria played against Zambia right??? Well, because I felt like sipping my brand; Legend Extra Stout while enjoying the game, I decided to visit the same pub that I’ve patronised four times already now and deny myself the comfort of watching the match on my DSTV Walka at home. This decision paid off though because…..*laughs*….because, I SAW THINGS!....Lolz…..
Just after Mikel foolishly threw away a priceless penalty, two young ladies with deep Oyo facial marks waltzed in and sat close to me. One of them turned her glance at me into a stare and ordinarily, I would have instantly felt uneasy but for my kind bottle of Legend, which kept me calm and steady. I guess she was feeling the boy and wondering why I was sitting all by myself. That was my business not hers anyway and after one quick look at them, I rushed into the assumption that they were local chicks from the neighbourhood.
Two minutes later, my suspicion was confirmed when the waiter approached them to take their orders. One of them ordered for 33 lager beer while the other called for Trophy beer. I was dazed on my seat and was like WHAT THE FUCK??? Chicks drinking 33 and Trophy??? PUEH!!! I mean, I can tolerate chicks drinking small stout or Smirnoff or Snapp or even Gordon Spark (if that shit still even exists) but certainly not that kind of beer. I just didn’t find such befitting enough for the womenfolk.
While I sipped my black stuff, I caught the one who gave me an earlier stare throwing more glances my way. She even entertained me with some thigh claps. You know what I mean right? That thing women do when they get agitated, restless or excited by opening and closing their thighs continuously for a period of time??? Yeah, that’s it! Each time I see chicks do that, I usually sing along in my head saying “Oya Shina Rambo open and close! Open and close! Close o!....Open and close! Open o!...Open and close!”…lolz. I think that’s Sir Shina Peters’ song.
So you bet that with these thigh-claps of hers, I got to see her panty. It was light-blue but I wasn’t impressed because it looked faded and cheap. When she later began stroking her partner’s thighs as well, I concluded again that they were just local lesbian/bisexual hoes looking for a guy to chat them up, pay for their drinks and take them home for some local fucking. Not me though….Nah!...Not me and I guess I disappointed them by leaving immediately Zambia equalised. Such a shame our Super Chickens couldn’t help but draw that match.
Oh yeah! Before I forget, I reconnected with some of my #TeamPerv mates on Twitter today and also got a new follower. My dearest @SexyNorma2 also requested that I stop by her hospital tomorrow for some sweet jabs. I’m supposed to also not wear boxer shorts so I know tomorrow will be a fun day………*perv grin*. I really wish I could relate with them more and get to know them better. Truth is, it’s now kinda difficult tweeting as much as I used to when I was still a newbie and hungry for attention. I know someday though, I’ll resolve that and get to do so. Kindly also help me thank my namesake; Adebola aka @_Kreamz for promoting me for free. That nigga be a true #NamesakeOfLife, I tell ya. He cool! Oh shit! How could I possibly forget??? *slaps self*....I really should be thanking ma boss, the Oracle too. I’m highly indebted to him and I’m not sure when and if I will actually be able to clear all my ‘gbese’. So help me God!
*Yawns*…..I gotta rest my perverted fingers now. Sleep calling. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye-bye!
Yours truly,
That Bloody Pervert
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