(A 50% Fiction, 50% Factual Story)
Hey you! *smile*. Wasup? Your bloody perv is back so without any further ado, ON WITH THE STORY!.....................HAHA!
Yeah! So you already know Angelina aka Angie Baby was already warming her way into T. Money’s lustful heart right? You already know she was pressing her slim and sexy body hard against his right? You probably guess that while she was gumming her plump bobbie against his hard chest, T. Money’s dick was charging and swelling with hot blood right? What else do you know then? Ehn??? Relax nau! No allow your own blood dey hot ehn? Lemme gist you…..Lolz.
While T. Money was enjoying free ‘current tapping’ from Angie Baby, I, General Yong and the other fella watched the ‘blue film’ that was taking place as our guy squeezed her sexy waist and pressed her yansh WELLA with his strong hands. Infact ehn, the way he kept squeezing that yansh got me scared that small ‘poo-poo’ would actually come out of it…lolz. And I don’t know about them guys o but me? Mayne ma dick was throbbing and screaming ANGELINA YANSH NA THE BEST WAY TO FUCK A PRICK!.....Lolz.
After the seemingly unending tapping came negotiation following T. Money’s “I wanna take you home baby gurl” and Angie Baby agreed to 3grand as payment for the service to be rendered. I’m sure she got a little scared when she realised her patron had some male company and that made her ask “Wait o! Shey na all of una wan fuck me? 3k no good for dat kain package o!”
T. Money laughed and quipped in his yankee accent “What? You mean you can take all of us? Mayne we are all able-bodied men gurl! Fully hot-blooded guys for that matter. You’d just die baby.”
Angelina seemed undaunted though. “Ah oga dat one na lie o! I reash to take all of una nau! Look me well nau! *turns round and flaunts her breasts and yansh* If una go pay my fee, I go fuck una sotey una go respect me. Me na Angie Baby naa!”
“Oh really? And how much would that be?” General Yong asked.
“10k” came her response with a straight face but T. Money would have none of that.
“You berra go get one of your friends gurl! Two of you will be fine. That’s how I want it.”
“Ehen? Okay nau! No problem. I dey come abeg ehn? Make una nor waka leave me o!” she begged and dashed inside the pub. By the time she was out, Angie was in the company of one yellow-pawpaw like that. The hoe had one funny-looking ‘shuku’ on her head and I couldn’t help but get offended by the sight of her big belly. Though she had a big arse, I just didn’t feel her at all. She looked like she had literally swallowed a crate of ‘Udeme’….lolz.
“Ah!” The General himself spoke now. “This one na racism nau! Chai!”
I was curious so I asked him “My General, whish one be racism again o?”
“Broda, you no see as dis geh yellow like Angie ni? Na racism be dat nau! Na chocolate geh im suppose don carry come so that e go be black and yellow…black and yellow….black and yellow!” Yong chuckled at his own humour and I followed suit.
“YEAH! AHAN! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!” I rapped instantly.
“Black and yellow…black and yellow…black and yellow!” chorused all the fellas and we burst into a roaring alcoholic laughter.
Angelina and her friend stood there morose, watching us like statues with confused faces. They didn’t get the joke and I could swear they weren’t familiar with Wiz Khalifa’s popular song. They were probably the Flavour and Sunny Nneji type (no offense guys).
Shuku Big Belly broke the laughter though, “Ehn…make we dey go naa!” to which T. Money quickly responded, “Alright then! I hope your girlfriend has already told you how much we’re willing to pay?”
“Yes oga, make we dey go abeg. E don dey late”.
We all got into the Range and T. Money wheeled the machine out of the pub and into the streets. Soon enough, we were already on the express and on our way to the crib. On the way though, things got really funny, yet frustrating for General Yong.
Gen. Yong: *squeezing Shuku’s buttocks* Come, make I feel you small.
Shuku: *frowns seriously and pushes Yong’s hand away from her yansh* Ahn-ahn! Which one be dis nau? You nor go wait make we reash house before you start to dey press my bodi anyhow???
Gen. Yong: *frowns in return* Wetin dey worry you nau? Shey I nor fit sample you again ni?
(Everyone else in the car chuckles and turns to watch the drama except T. Money who is risking our safety by fondling Angie’s breasts while driving….smh)
Shuku: No be only sample, na Ekwe. Abeg, you carry me to fuck so wait till we reash house. If we reash, WE GO FUCK.
Gen. Yong: Come, wetin dey worry you sef? Na where you from even come?
Shuku: Na your village I from come nau. Nothing dey worry me o! I no kon know if anything dey worry you. *hisses*
Me: Eh! Na wa o! Angie, whish kain friend you carry follow us naa???
Angie: *still enjoying T. Money’s smooching*… *laughs*…Na my friend o! No mind am. Na so she take dey follow person play.
Gen. Yong: *enraged now*…Which kain yeye play be dat? Look you dis girl *faces Shuku* E be like say suntin dey worry you and e nor possible make you come from ma place because people from my place nor dey do ashewo work. *hisses*
Shuku: *enraged as well*…EHN??? Who be ashawo? WHO YOU DEY CALL ASHAWO???
Me: OH OH!
Gen. Yong: You dey craze ni? Wetin kon be your work nau?
Shuku: Look Mr. man, I be HUZZLER you hear? I nor be ashawo. Na your sisters for house be ashawo!!!. *hisses*
(Mayne, you should have been there to see my guy’s face just then. It was fucking red with hot blood.)
Gen. Yong: WHAT!!! T. Money abeg pull over. Dis idiot nor fit follow us reach house o! Ehn? Me? Na me you dey open your dirty mouth dey follow talk like dat abi? You know who I be??? I go thruway you for inside bush now and nothing go happen.
(You bet Shuku didn’t keep quiet at that. She insulted my one and only General who got more and more angry. More hot words were exchanged and it took the serious efforts of Angelina, myself, T. Money and the other dude in the ride to calm things down before we arrived home.
Hmmn…..WHEN WE ARRIVED HOME NKO? That was when my own drama started………………………………..(To Be Continued).
Yours truly,
That Bloody Pervert
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